Week 7 Power Rankings
Funny Money Power Rankings – Week 7
Brian Piccolo surges into the playoff picture with a $1,000 week. He won his wild card despite Ryan Fitzpatrick’s best effort to rally the Bengals against the Jets. For the most part, other franchises stayed where they were last week, with the exception of Boss Hardigan who took a $500 hit, and Blossom Russo and Chris B. Corey, who each won $500. The Giants’ loss on Monday night prevented a lot of franchises from perfect weeks.
Here are your updated power rankings:
Biggest rise: Brian Piccolo: was 13, now 4
Biggest drop: Thunder Lips: was 5, now 10
(Last week’s rank; Current total)
1. Gordon Bombay (1; $1,900)
Increased his divisional and overall lead, but late picks prevented him from reaching the $2,000 mark.
2. Kimmy Gibbler (2; $1,500)
Secured the lead in the South for another week, but something tells me that Week 7 is the week he drops down.
3. Bayonnaise (4; $1,400)
Stayed quietly in second place in his division and within earshot of the overall lead.
4. Brian Piccolo (13; $1,100)
A HUGE week vaulted Piccolo into second place in the West, but will he fall right back into his $100 win or loss pattern? Time will tell.
5. Karl Farbman (6; $1,300)
Took over the West lead due to Hardigan’s fall from the top, but has Piccolo nipping at his heels.
6. The People’s Champ (7; $1,200)
Began the week looking as if he was going to make a big move, but his chances faded off like an Eli Manning pass.
7. Boss Hardigan (3; $1,000)
Lost $500. Lost his Speedo. Grew a mustache.
8. Teddy KGB (8; $1,000)
Fell further behind the overall leader, and is currently on the outside looking in for the playoffs.
9. Blossom Russo (10; $800)
Big $500 week and it looks as if fatty Russo will take over Babe this week in the East.
10. Thunder Lips (5; $900)
Another five teamer, yawn. Zzzzzzzz.
11. Babe (9; $900)
“This is why we can’t have nice things.”
12. Mr. Marbles (11; $400)
Time for the wild card bet? I think so. I think so.
13. Chris B. Corey (19; -$100)
Back from the dead, Chris B. Corey is close to positive money! To celebrate, he plans to throw out the first pitch at an Indians game.
14. The 21th Precinct (12; $0)
Should the Precinct follow Piccolo’s lead and go for the gusto before he falls further behind?
15. Rick Moranis (16; -$300)
Late picks cost him an additional $100, but he’s moving closer to the Equator.
16, Waldo Geraldo Faldo (15; $-100)
Brown water season has hurt his wagering.
17. The Phoenix (14; -$500)
Boring.
18. Bummy (18; -$400)
More boring.
19. Mr. DeBlasis (17; $-600)
DeBlasis is fading away, slowly but surely, and needs to turn things around fast as the halfway point of the season approaches.
20. The Beard of Zeus (20; -$1,400)
It looks like the end for the Beard.
Week 6 Power Rankings
Funny Money Power Rankings – Week 6
With a ton of league money on Indianapolis last week, scoring 21 points in the last four minutes and covering was huge for many franchises. Things were shaken up at the top, as the People’s Champ was dethroned. Bayonnaise cashed in on his Wild Card bet, and a few division leaders changed as we head into Week 6.
Here are your updated power rankings:
Biggest rise: Bayonnaise: was 8, now 4
Biggest drop: The People’s Champ: was 1, now 7; Mr. Marbles: was 5, now 11
(Last week’s rank; Current total)
1. Gordon Bombay (2; $1,700)
Kept it going by picking up a few critical wins – takes over the top spot after the People’s Champ fell considerably.
2. Kimmy Gibbler (3; $1,400)
Gibbler’s rise to the top continues. She is now first in the ultra-competitive South Division.
3. Boss Hardigan (6; $1,500)
Had a perfect week with Farbman right on his tail and is challenging for the overall lead.
4. Bayonnaise (8; $1,300)
The Naise pulled out the Wild Card and it paid off handsomely. His Jacksonville bet kept him from the $1000 week, but he has put himself in playoff position.
5. Thunder Lips (4; $1,000)
The rare $0 week for Thunder Lips has him moving slightly up the rankings, but now the competition has grown in the playoff race. Will he continue to bet five-teamers?
6. Karl Farbman (7; $1,200)
Won $500 this week, but couldn’t pick up any ground on Boss Hardigan.
7. The People’s Champ (1; $1,100)
Fells Fest or not, the Champ just lost focus. His picks were late and he lost some cash. He dropped out of the overall lead and into third in his division. You better start swimming or you’ll sink like a stone.
8. Teddy KGB (9; $900)
A perfect week put KGB amid the league leaders. One of only two teams to bet the minimum two-teamer each week thus far, Teddy has been up and down all season. Experts say a -$500 week is in store this week if history is any guide.
9. Babe (12; $600)
Babe used a deadly combination of whiskey and late night drunk dials to his neighbor to regain the lead in the East, which is starting to become a somewhat respectable division.
10. Blossom Russo (11; $300)
Still has Babe in her sites.
11. Mr. Marbles (5; $300)
-$500. Drop it like it’s hot. Drop, drop it like it’s hot.
12. The 21th Precinct (15; $100)
The Precinct boldly prognosticated that Week 5 was when he’d get back in the positive, and he comes through. Also, via tiebreaker, moves from last place out West into third.
13. Brian Piccolo (13; $100)
Weird. Piccolo had another week in which he either lost or won $100. Weird.
14. The Phoenix (14; -$400)
Just when I think the Phoenix is ready to make his move, he puts on a knit hat and makes terrible picks.
15. Waldo Geraldo Faldo (10; $0)
Waldo plummets to last place in the West and might want to call on Urkel for his picks this week. It’s not the bets that he makes, it’s the bets that he doesn’t make.
16. Rick Moranis (19; -$500)
By way of a winning percentage tie, for the first time in the HISTORY of the Funny Money Football League, Moranis has emerged from last place in his division. Something tells me he’s in for something good.
17. Mr. DeBlasis (17; $-500)
Dropped to the cellar in the South.
18. Bummy (18; -$500)
Bummy’s Wild Card bet is coming. I can feel it.
19. Chris B. Corey (16; -$600)
Nothing really gained, nothing really lost. Since his retirement, Corey has lost his star power. Show me something.
20. The Beard of Zeus (20; -$1,300)
Late picks followed by bad picks. But the Executive Director does have to mention that the Beard of Zeus did treat him to three shots of Rumpleminze and four Budweisers on Saturday. That has to count for something.
Week 5 Power Rankings
Funny Money Power Rankings – Week 5
The league feasted on the Vegas lines in Week 5: Seven franchises won $500, and for the first time this season no team lost $500. Thus, the Power Rankings only shifted slightly this week, but the divisional races are heating up. And as the weeks pass, the wild card bets (sans Chris B. Corey) remain on the shelf. Who will pull the trigger first? Also, if last season was any guide, a week of feasting for the league usually was shortly followed by a week of famine.
Here are your updated power rankings:
Biggest rise: Teddy KGB: was 14, now 9; The Phoenix: was 19, now 14
Biggest drop: Boss Hardigan: was 3, now 6; Brian Piccolo: was 10, now 13; The 21th Precinct: was 12, now 15
(Last week’s rank; Current total)
1. The People’s Champ (1; $1,400)
His perfect season came to an end, but only lost $100. Don’t look now, but the league is nipping at his heels….
2. Gordon Bombay (2; $1.400)
Bombay continues to rise – could he take over in Week 5?
3. Kimmy Gibbler (5; $1,200)
I never thought I’d say this: Kimmy Gibbler is hot. Not the sitcom character, though. The Funny Money franchise. Another perfect week put her in prime position.
4. Thunder Lips (7; $1,000)
The much-talked about “system” works again. Four games bet, four wins. You don’t want to mess with the Thunder Lips right now.
5. Mr. Marbles (4; $800)
Hanging around, for now, but has to deal with both Bombay and Thunder in his division.
6. Boss Hardigan (3; $1,000)
Another week comes, another week goes with Hardigan making a slight increase. He’s still looking for momentum.
7. Karl Farbman (6; $700)
Keeps pace with Hardigan, but still hasn’t done much since a $500 Week 1.
8. Bayonnaise (8; $700)
The roller coaster ride continues – Bayonnaise wins $500 and gets back into the playoff picture.
9. Teddy KGB (14; $400)
Speaking of ups and downs, KGB rebounds from a few bad weeks to get back on the positive side of the chip count.
10. Waldo Geraldo Faldo (9; $400)
Don’t count him out in the West. Also, don’t eat his onion rings.
11. Blossom Russo (13; $200)
In my opinionation, the sun is gonna surely shine. Blossom takes over first in the East!
12. Babe (11; $200)
Oh Babe, you lead in the East is gone.
13. Brian Piccolo (10; $0)
After four weeks, he’s back to square one. Wild card time?
14. The Phoenix (19; -$200)
When he makes his bets on time, the Phoenix is hard to beat. But so far, he’s only done that half the time.
15. The 21th Precinct (12; $-200)
Falling behind out West.
16. Chris B. Corey (20; -$500)
Is Chris back? A $500 week has him inching back closer to even money. He needs another big week before any one else starts to notice him and his Prada handbag.
17. Mr. DeBlasis (15; $-400)
Went into his shell and bet a five-teamer. I smell a wild card bet in Week 5.
18. Bummy (16; -$600)
When the Phoenix passes you in the standings, you know you’re on the wrong track.
19. Rick Moranis (17; -$800)
Step by step, Moranis might be the most dangerous cellar dweller in the league.
20. The Beard of Zeus (18; -$1,000)
Has proven nothing so far this year, other than he needs to “lock it up.”
Week 4 Power Rankings
Funny Money Power Rankings – Week 4
Both the #1 and #2 teams in the rankings this week continued their winning ways. For the most part the rest of the league hovered around the Equator in Week 3. A few exceptions were a rise by Gibbler and a fall by Babe and Mr. DeBlasis.
Here are your updated power rankings:
Biggest rise: Kimmy Gibbler: was 11, now 5
Biggest drop: Babe: was 6, now 11
(Last week’s rank; Current total)
1. The People’s Champ (1; $1,500)
DiMaggio’s hit streak. The Miami Dolphins’ undefeated season. Hall & Oates’ string of #1 hits. The Champ’s flawless season after three weeks is drawing comparisons to other great feats of perfection.
2. Gordon Bombay (2; $1.300)
Bombay wins $500 for the second week in a row and keeps the overall lead in his sights.
3. Boss Hardigan (3; $900)
Only gained $100 last week, but still the Boss of the West.
4. Mr. Marbles (5; $700)
Marbles stayed closed to Bombay and rumor has it that his secret is drinking a bottle of Ten High prior to making his picks each week.
5. Kimmy Gibbler (11; $700)
And Gibbler is alive and well! A perfect week has him cracking into the Top 5.
6. Karl Farbman (4; $600)
Another average week after coming out the gate strong. Farbman must design a winning week soon if he wants to catch the Boss before he gets too far away.
7. Thunder Lips (7; $500)
Does his system work? Another four teamer – and three correct picks. But Bombay is pulling away….
8. Bayonnaise (8; $200)
After a big Week 2, the ‘Naise returned to bland form.
9. Waldo Geraldo Faldo (10; $300)
Waldo survived a mediocre week in the West, but can look back at this week as one where he could have gained ground.
10. Brian Piccolo (14; $100)
Piccolo is still breathing, but just barely. Could go either way.
11. Babe (6; $100)
Babe lost $500, but still leads the East. Could a negative total win the division?
12. The 21th Precinct (13; $-100)
Mediocrity won’t win the west, but there’s still a lot of season left and the Precinct is within relative striking distance.
13. Blossom Russo (9; $-300)
Sunk down in total but not in the rankings in the East.
14. Teddy KGB (12; $-100)
No splashing the pot this week: after a big Week 1, Teddy has lost steam.
15. Mr. DeBlasis (15; $-500)
Oh, Mr. DeBlasis, you lost all your bets and fell way behind the league leader. Time to pull out the wild card bet?
16. Bummy (17; -$500)
Tardy picks and bad bets make Bummy a dull boy.
17. Rick Moranis (20; -$900)
Moranis might need the help of Dr. Peter Venkman this week to continue to rise up the Power Rankings.
18. The Beard of Zeus (18; -$900)
Got off the proverbial schnide by winning a game! Things are really starting to snowball for the god.
19. The Phoenix (16; -$700)
No picks this week. The Phoenix has descended.
20. Chris B. Corey (19; -$1,000)
Down so low, winning a meager $100 isn’t going to cut the mustard.
Week 3 Power Rankings
Funny Money Power Rankings – Week 3
The majority of the franchises held their collective breath as Green Bay and Detroit squared off in a thriller. Thirteen teams bet the Packers to see them go up by 21, then lose the lead, then score 24 straight in the 4th quarter. Many franchises saw their week saved by the Packers defense. Chris B. Corey, who lives his life just like his tattoo says: “Get Rich or Die Tryin,” lost his Wild Card bet, an $800 wager on the Bungles. I guess he died tryin. A few lucky teams won $500 this week, as the cream starts to rise to the top in each division.
Here are your updated power rankings:
Biggest rise: Bayonnaise: was 16, now 8
Biggest drop: Teddy KGB: was 3, now 12
(Last week’s rank; Current total)
1. The People’s Champ (1; $1,000)
So glamourous, so glamourous, glamourous, oh the flossy flossy. The People’s Champ stays perfect on the season.
2. Gordon Bombay (4; $800)
The Minnesota Miracle Man rises up and wins $500, putting him in a familiar spot on the top tier of the league.
3. Boss Hardigan (5; $800)
Newcomer Boss wins $500 as well, proving he can swim with the big fish, even though he is wearing a terrible speedo.
4. Karl Farbman (2; $500)
A win, a loss, and a push aren’t going to get it done for Farbman. He could be moving on down if he doesn’t take care of business.
5. Mr. Marbles (7; $600)
Mr. Marbles, who moonlights as the lead singer of the hit Cleveland area band “The Qdoba Boys,” inched his way further towards the lead this week.
6. Babe (10; $600)
Babe proved in Week 2 that even absolute busts deserve a second chance. A perfect week has him leading the East.
7. Thunder Lips (12; $400)
Another rookie that is making a name for himself early on. Thunder Lips has bet on a league high nine games thus far, but has won six of them. Good show.
8. Bayonnaise (16; $300)
You can’t 86 the Bayonnaise on a delicious Week 2. Bayo won $500 and put himself in the thick of things after a lackluster opening week.
9. Blossom Russo (14; $200)
Blossom rises slightly and needs to capitalize on the momentum she built in Week 2.
10. Waldo Geraldo Faldo (6; $200)
Waldo dropped down four spots, just as “Family Matters” did when “Dinosaurs!” led off the TGIF lineup.
11. Kimmy Gibbler (11; $200)
Medium. Medium. Medium.
12. Teddy KGB (3; $0)
Week 1: Two for two. Week 2: Zero for two. Too bad he didn’t consult his baby’s mama first before betting.
13. The 21th Precinct (13; $0)
Don’t look now, but the 21th is falling behind in the West – no teams are in the negative.
14. Brian Piccolo (8; $200)
Hasn’t shown much in the first two weeks, but could go on a run in Week 3.
15. Mr. DeBlasis (9; $0)
Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.
16. The Phoenix (18; -$100)
Got back on track by winning $100 on the week.
17. Bummy (17; -$300)
Poor showing so far. And to think they used to call Bummy “The Executor.”
18. The Beard of Zeus (19; -$1,000)
The Curse of the Kudler has struck. No correct bets thus far.
19. Chris B. Corey (15; -$1,100)
Lost his Wild Card bet, but salvaged a little bit on the Indy comeback. There are still 15 weeks left, but already it looks unlikely that Chris will be in the playoffs.
20. Rick Moranis (20; -$1,000)
Didn’t make his picks. At all. Lost $600. Here’s shovel, can you dig it fool?
Week 2 Power Rankings
Funny Money Power Rankings – Week 2
The season got off to a bang with the Giants winning the opener, making several franchises happy. But Cincy’s loss and Detroit making Atlanta look flawless killed a few franchises’ hopes of a perfect week. The West is best in Week 1, and the East is least. Here are your updated power rankings:
Biggest rise: Waldo Geraldo Faldo; was 18, now 6
Biggest drop: The Phoenix; was 5, now 18 and Chris B. Corey; was 2 now 15
(Last week’s rank; Current total)
1. The People’s Champ (1; $500)
The self-proclaimed champion of the populous picked up in 2008 where he left off in ’07.
2. Karl Farbman (6; $500)
Benefitted from Reggie Bush leading the Saints back in the 4th quarter, but must keep pace in the West.
3. Teddy KGB (9; $500)
Start spreading the news – Teddy rode the Giants and Jets to a perfect week.
4. Gordon Bombay (3; $300)
Stayed close in the highly competitive North Division.
5. Boss Hardigan (7; $300)
Though he didn’t have his “lucky” Jeff Hostetler jersey for Week 1, Hardigan would’ve had a perfect week if it was for dem Rayyyvens.
6. Waldo Geraldo Faldo (18; $500)
Is this a sign of things to come or a flash in the pan? Waldo rode the coattails of Aaron Rodgers and Eddie Winslow to a flawless inaugural week.
7. Mr. Marbles (15; $300)
Mr. Marbles? He’s harmless! Creeping around once again, Marbles stayed in the thick of things up North.
8. Brian Piccolo (14; $100)
Brian’s song this week: close but no cigar. One win, one loss. Still a lot to be determined for the young franchise.
9. Mr. DeBlasis (4; -$100)
The golden arm of Jon Kitna couldn’t save Mr. DeBlasis this week.
10. Babe (16 $100)
Like a rousing karaoke rendition of a Styx song, Babe left something to be desired, yet is atop his division.
11. Kimmy Gibbler (11; -$100)
Mediocrity in Week 1 will keep Gibbler in the race in the South, but she needs to turn things around to stay close to The People’s Champ.
12. Thunder Lips (8; $100)
Some may say betting a five-teamer is great strategy; others say it lacks cajones. Either way, Thunder Lips got off to a positive start in 2008.
13. The 21th Precinct (19; $100)
Getting his feet wet, the 21th Precinct must stay on track to contend in the wild wild West.
14. Blossom Russo (10; -$100)
For now, a small loss will allow for Blossom to survive in the East.
15. Chris B. Corey (2; -$500)
Continuing his world tour, Chris B. Corey let down his legions of fans with a terrible week of picks. Yet, he still remains a player to watch.
16. Bayonnaise (13; -$200)
Started ’08 with tardy bets, which can come back to haunt a franchise later in the year.
17. Bummy (17; -$100)
Bet blindly without point spreads and lived to tell about it. For now.
18. The Phoenix (5; -$200)
7th Floor Crew says: “What’s your name? THE PHOENIX! What you do? MAKE LATE PICKS!”
19. The Beard of Zeus (12; -$500)
The Beard has to summon some strength to bounce back in Week 2.
20. Rick Moranis (20; -$400)
No luck for Moranis. Made tardy bets and missed on two. On the bright side, he did pick one game right in Week 1! Baby steps. Baby steps.
Week 1 Power Rankings
Funny Money Football – Week 1 Power Rankings
(Last year’s regular season total; divisional finish; playoff finish)
1. The People’s Champ ($1,400; 2nd in West – Wild Card Team; Won Playoffs)
After an all-around successful campaign in 2007, The People’s Champ is back looking for more this year. He will have a tough road back to the top, as all of the franchises in his division (South), are returning members of the Funny Money.
2. Chris B. Corey ($2,400; 1st in North; 5th in Playoffs)
The recently retired Chris B. Corey no longer has to worry about petty things like work emails and conference calls. This year, he can concentrate on the only two things that matter: chicken wings and Funny Money Football.
3. Gordon Bombay ($2,400; 1st in West; 4th in Playoffs)
Bombay dominated for almost all of the regular season, but then stumbled down the stretch, hung on to win his division title, and then fell off the map in the playoffs. Which Bombay will show up in ’08? The genius of weeks 1-13 last year or the one that faltered towards the end of the season?
4. Mr. DeBlasis ($0; 4th in West; Missed Playoffs)
An unsung hero of the 2007 season, Mr. DeBlasis was surging late in the season. If not for a lackluster first half, he would have certainly been a contender. Also, the mass media has declared him as the “sexy” upset pick of the year in the FMFL.
5. The Phoenix (Expansion Season)
The Phoenix was the only member of the FMFL who protested mandatory steroid testing during training camp, claiming the only thing he is on is, “Whey protein.” Will he have the brains to match the brawn? If not, let’s hope he doesn’t physically manhandle the Executive Director a la Turkey Bowl 2003.
6. Karl Farbman ($1,100; 3rd in West; Missed Playoffs)
Though he is known outside of the Funny Money Football realm for his boyish charm and chiseled abs, Karl Farbman was a psychological train-wreck last season, finishing the year just $100 out of the playoffs, and making foolish wagers the last three weeks of the season with everything on the line. Yet with his experience, the outlook for him in 2008 is positive.
7. Boss Hardigan (Expansion Season)
As Boss Hardigan tells it, he was the puppet-master behind Bayonnaise last season, assisting him with many of his bets. Other sources say this is blatantly false. Now he has the chance to show the ‘Naise once and for all who the greater prognosticator is.
8. Thunder Lips (Expansion Season)
Thunder Lips has the daunting task of sharing an apartment with two other expansion franchises (Brian Piccolo and Waldo Geraldo Faldo). He’s hoping that the close quarters fosters healthy competition with him outsmarting the rest of his division (Johns Hopkins-style).
9. Teddy KGB ($1,200; 2nd in North – Wild Card Team; 3rd in Playoffs)
Teddy KGB made his money back last season, but was on the brink of a high finish in the playoffs and couldn’t close. He might have a little more knowledge this season – since becoming a father, rumor he has it he has logged countless hours of breaking down NFL film while pacing late at night.
10. Blossom Russo ($2,700; 1st in East – 1st Overall; 2nd in Playoffs)
The regular season champ fell just short in the playoffs and is the only returning franchise in his division. He’s hoping those new glasses will not only keep him from squinting, but help him see his way through to a second straight trip to the postseason.
11. Kimmy Gibbler (-$2,400; 3rd in East; Missed Playoffs)
The rise and fall of Gibbler last year was much like that of “Greek God” John Stamos’ rise to the top during the Full House era, followed by his plummet to the bottom during his post-Uncle Jesse career. Kimmy is hoping for a resurgence this season.
12. The Beard of Zeus (Expansion Season)
Will the gods be smiling on the Beard of Zeus and his mythical strength? Some say yes, others say no, but most are just saying: “Prove it.”
13. Bayonnaise (-$1,200; 4th in North; Missed Playoffs)
Spreading himself just a little too thin last year, Bayonnaise showed signs of greatness (winning $500 three consecutive weeks at one point) but also signs of weakness (losing $500 three consecutive weeks). Ultimately, tardy bets cost him as too many fines put him in a hole he couldn’t get out of.
14. Brian Piccolo (Expansion Season)
Until Piccolo starts drinking before noon on Sundays (and stops requesting a giant mug of coffee instead of a Budweiser), experts say he’ll have a tough time staying relevant in the Funny Money.
15. Mr. Marbles ($1,000; 3rd in North; Missed Playoffs)
After just missing the playoffs last year, Mr. Marbles has a lot more to overcome this go-around if he wants to get to the postseason – mainly, it’s the horrid stench of Chris B. Corey that’s standing in his way.
16. Babe (Expansion Season)
Babe comes into the season committed to excellence. He has already declared that his in-season diet will only consist of Diet Sprite and late night take-out. Most critics assume this will spell doom for Babe and all those around him.
17. Bummy (Expansion Season)
Known in some fantasy leagues as the Silent Assassin, Bummy’s toxic mix of football knowledge, Gatorade, and cigarettes make him some experts’ sleeper pick this season. Getting his bets in on time might be a factor in his success.
18. Waldo Geraldo Faldo (Expansion Season)
The key to W.G.F.’s Funny Money season could be motivation. Will he bring his “A” game each and every Sunday? Or will he lie on the couch for hours on end with his laptop on his belly eating stale Cheetos? Only time will tell.
19. The 21th Precinct (Expansion Season)
The eldest member of the FMFL, the 21th Precinct’s only advantage this season is that he was watching football before the forward pass was invented.
20. Rick Moranis (-$3,200; 4th in East; Missed Playoffs)
Possibly the returning franchise with the most to prove, Moranis began last season with five straight weeks of incorrect picks. Will he right the ship this year? Or dig himself deeper?
