The Top Ten: Week 6
Commentary: In yet another week where underdogs covered most of the spreads, the FMFL suffered once again. However, two franchises, Ron Mexico and Kimmy Gibbler, were bold enough to bet their respective wild cards. Both won, and Ron is now among the league leaders, and Gibbler might be back in the race in the North. Several teams lost $500 and now there are only three franchises in the positive. One of those is Teddy KGB, who rose from mediocrity with a perfect week and now leads the South.
(current total; last week’s ranking)
1. Ron Mexico ($300, NR)
Ron bellied up to the bar – and got plenty drunk. Won his wild card bet. Won his second bet. $1,000 in the books for the week. Mexico now leads the West and is in a tie for the overall lead.
2. Teddy KGB ($300, 9)
Teddy jumps up to first in the South with a huge $500 week. With five weeks in the books, the lead in the division has changed nearly every week. Teddy is now in the driver’s seat.
3. Karl Farbman ($100, 1)
A terrible week for Farbman. With three losses, he drops $500, but still maintains the lead in the East.
4. The People’s Champ ($100, NR)
The Champ treaded water in Week 5 and rose up in the division due to all of the dogs covering. Time to play that wild card?
5. The Notorious A.B.T. (-$100, 5)
The A.B.T. is behind in the West, and might have to come up with a big week in order to keep pace with Ron Mexico.
6. The Beard of Zeus (-$100, 6)
Much like Karl Farbman, didn’t have a great week, but still holds onto the division lead.
7. Kenny Powers (-$100, 2)
Kenny dropped $500. But he can now blame his new bride.
8. Mr. DeBlasis (-$300, 3)
DeBlasis dropped $500. But he can now blame his hetero-life partner.
9. Face (-$300, 10)
Face is close in the North. He might be the “Teddy KGB” of Week 6 if he can string two bets together.
10. Art Schlichter (-$300, NR)
Art fancies himself a gambling man, but has struggled to this point. He could go into a shell and bet a five-teamer, but my guess is that Art will be the next to bet his wild card.
OTHERS RECEIVING VOTES: Boss Hardigan; Mr. Marbles; Gordon Bombay
DROPPED OUT: Mr. Marbles; The Phoenix; Yaz
The Top Ten: Week 5
Commentary: As we pass the quarter pole for the 2010 season, one thing’s for sure – nothing is for sure. The FMFL loaded up on Indianapolis and paid the price when they lost outright. Among the collateral damage was Blossom Russo, who dropped his Wild Card on the Colts and lost $1,000 for the week. Missing this week was Waldo Geraldo Faldo, who even Carl Winslow couldn’t track down. No bets for Waldo, -$600 for the week. Four weeks in and only four franchises are in the positive. Two have $0. That leaves 22 in the negative. The good news is that some teams still have plenty of time to recover. But others are slipping away fast…
(current total; last week’s ranking)
1. Karl Farbman ($600, 4)
Farbman cashes in and has a perfect week to take the lead in the East and overall. But the league’s elite are nipping at his heels….
2. Kenny Powers ($400, 6)
Kenny Powers strikes again! Two perfect weeks in a row and just an eyelash behind Farbman, Kenny is not messing around in 2010.
3. Mr. DeBlasis ($200, 3)
Another East division team, DeBlasis won $100 and stayed positive, staying in the top three of the Top Ten.
4. Mr. Marbles ($200, 1)
Though he lost the overall lead and dropped $500 in Week 4, Marbles still leads the South. More importantly, he now holds a $1,700 lead over frienemy Blossom Russo.
5. The Notorious A.B.T. ($0, NR)
Just keeping his head above water, the A.B.T. skirted around all of the big losses this week and is first in the West.
6. The Beard of Zeus ($0, NR)
The Beard is alive and well. After a perfect week, he sits atop the lackluster North at even money. This could be a great opportunity to break away from the pack.
7. The Phoenix (-$100, 10)
Just a $100 week for the Phoenix, but he’s still in the mix. When the Phoenix bets, 60% of the time, he wins every time.
8. Yaz (-$100, 2)
This was the week Yaz could have taken over his division. Instead, he lost $500 and slipped down towards the bottom of the Top Ten.
9. Teddy KGB (-$200, 8 )
Teddy is hanging around and is within striking distance of the South lead.
10. Face (-$200, NR)
The ups and downs of Face’s season continue – he has a big $500 week that puts him just $200 out of the lead in the North.
OTHERS RECEIVING VOTES: The People’s Champ; Art Schlichter; Boss Hardigan
DROPPED OUT: Babe; Ron Mexico; Boss Hardigan
The Top Ten: Week 4
Commentary: Apparently the recession ended, but not in the Funny Money Football League. Many franchises hemorrhaged cash in Week 3, but there were a few bright spots as well. Larisa Oleynik was the first to use her Wild Card bet this year, winning it but only netting $600 for the week. Larisa still is a little behind the pack, but made up some ground. A few squads also won $500 this week. But the long and short of it is that in two divisions $100 is leading, and in one division no one is in the positive. The first week with byes is here, so maybe that will be less games for franchises to wager incorrectly on.
(current total; last week’s ranking)
1. Mr. Marbles ($700, 1)
At least someone is doing relatively well. Mr. Marbles won another $300 and kept his lead in the South.
2. Yaz ($400, 5)
Yaz won $500 for the second straight week and is second overall, but is also second in the South. He’ll keep Mr. Marbles on his toes for the foreseeable future.
3. Mr. DeBlasis ($100, 10)
DeBlasis looked to be going conservative by betting five teams last week. But only a Monday night loss by Green Bay kept him from going 5-for-5. He now leads the East.
4. Karl Farbman ($100, 2)
Farbman dropped $100 and is now percentage points behind DeBlasis for the lead in the East.
5. Babe ($100, 3)
Babe split his bets and increased his lead in the North, with the rest of the teams struggling. Same as it was last week, he has a real chance to distance himself with two correct bets in Week 4.
6. Kenny Powers (-$100, NR)
Kenny makes his highest appearance to date in the Top Ten by reeling off a perfect week on the heels of two AFC North squads. Can he hang around with the big boys?
7. Boss Hardigan (-$100, NR)
And here comes the Boss! A perfect week has Hardigan with a division lead and visions of sugarplums dancing in his head.
8. Teddy KGB (-$100, NR)
Teddy squeaked out $100, but lost a bet on his hometown Rayyvens. Still, anything positive gets you into the Top Ten this year.
9. Ron Mexico (-$200, NR)
Ron is the only rookie in the Top Ten this week. Others have faded quickly, but Ron is only $100 out of the lead in the lackluster West.
10. The Phoenix (-$200, NR)
The Phoenix just won $500. You read that right. Give him a few weeks – he’ll have late bets at least twice by midseason.
OTHERS RECEIVING VOTES: The 21th Precinct; The Notorious A.B.T.
DROPPED OUT: Face; Slovy Maximus; Art Schlichter; The Notorious A.B.T.; Bayonnaise
The Top Ten: Week 3
Commentary: Let’s take a minute and talk about the North Division. Between the seven franchises, in Week 2 the North Division collectively placed 19 bets. Three of the games were pushes. The rest were losses. That’s right. 16 losses. ZERO wins. Between seven people – no wins. That’s pretty much how Week 2 went. The FMFL continued to get hammered by Vegas. Only four franchises are $0 or above. Many franchises are in the hole – time to pull out the Wild Card bet in Week 3? Here’s the latest Top Ten from FMFL headquarters in Arlington, Virginia.
(current total; last week’s ranking)
1. Mr. Marbles ($400, 2)
Marbles only won $100 in Week 2, but created a little breathing room between him and the rest of the South.
2. Karl Farbman ($200, 7)
Farbman also only squeaked out $100, but now has a $400 lead on the rest of the East.
3. Babe ($0, 1)
$500 up in Week 1, $500 down in Week 2. The good news for Babe is that if there was a week to lose all your bets, this was the one. However, if he could have split his bets, he’d have a huge lead on the pack in the South.
4. Slovy Maximus (-$100, 10)
Slovy leapfrogged another franchise to take the lead in the West. The rest of the division is nipping at his heels, but he’s the clubhouse leader.
5. Yaz (-$100, 5)
Yaz was the only franchise to win $500 in Week 2. He’s still not back to square one because of his dismal start to the season, but he’s right back in the mix.
6. Face (-$200, 3)
Face was one of the North franchises to push a game last week, meaning he actually gained on the rest of the division.
7. The Notorious A.B.T. (-$200, 4)
Four bets, four losses. A.B.T. might not be ready to hang with the big boys on the leaderboard.
8. Art Schlichter (-$200, NR)
Art’s hanging around and needs a solid week to stand out in a crowded South division.
9. Bayonnaise (-$200, NR)
Another player flying under the radar, the ‘Naise was 2-1 in Week 2, so it looks like he is on the right track. Now it just might be a matter of putting together a few bets in Week 3.
10. Mr. DeBlasis (-$200, NR)
DeBlasis went $300-$100-$100 on his three bets and won the big one. Sadly, just winning your big bet will get you on the Top Ten after Week 2.
OTHERS RECEIVING VOTES: Teddy KGB; Ron Mexico; Waldo Geraldo Faldo
DROPPED OUT: The People’s Champ; Blossom Russo; Will Cover
The Top Ten: Week 2
Commentary: Week 1 was rough. That’s an understatement. Some of the casualties? Yaz: -$600. Larisa Oleynik: -$500. Countless others in the negative. The two bets that killed the FMFL this week were Indianapolis and San Francisco. Vegas definitely made their money in the first week of the season. No wild card bets placed in Week 1 and three franchises made tardy bets.
(current total; last week’s ranking)
1. Babe ($500, NR)
Babe got no respect in the preseason rankings and now sits atop the heap. He was the only franchise that was perfect in Week 1. If the rest of the North doesn’t snap out their collective funk quickly, Babe could run away from the pack.
2. Mr. Marbles ($300, 7)
Marbles emerged from Week 1 with some cash in his pocket and the lead in the South. Several franchises are nipping at his heels, but he’s in the driver’s seat early in the season.
3. Face ($200, NR)
Last year Yaz proved that a man nearly 60 years old could teach the young bucks a thing or two (besides how to make prunes a regular part of your diet). Could Face do the same thing in 2010?
4. The Notorious A.B.T. ($300, NR)
Well, well, well. At the end of 2009, the Funny Money coroner said that the Notorious A.B.T. had died of natural causes. But he lives! A good first week that he can build on and the lead in the West.
5. The People’s Champ ($100, 4)
The 2007 Champ is back…..for now.
6. Blossom Russo ($100, 6)
Another familiar name is back in the Top Ten, but hasn’t risen back to his elite status just yet.
7. Karl Farbman ($100, NR)
Karl – good to see you. Just like the guys at #5 and #6, Farbman has had past success, but is just hovering around the equator after Week 1.
8. Kiko Garcia ($100, NR)
Kiko came out of the gate in his first FMFL appearance and eked out a Benjamin. Given his reputation, I don’t think this is Kiko’s last appearance in the Top Ten this season.
9. Will Cover ($100, NR)
Another rookie that weathered the Week 1 storm – is Will a contender or pretender? Time will tell.
10. Slovy Maximus ($0, NR)
The bad news is that Slovy didn’t win any money in Week 1. The good news is that Slovy didn’t lose any money in Week 1.
OTHERS RECEIVING VOTES: Ron Mexico; Art Schlichter; Teddy KGB
DROPPED OUT: Mr. DeBlasis; Yaz; Larisa Oleynik; T-Ferg; Art Schlichter; Gordon Bombay; Waldo Geraldo Faldo
The Top Ten: Week 1
Commentary: Well, here we are. The 2010 season kicks off this weekend. The slate is clean and everyone is back to zero. Judging by the divisional draft alone, it looks as though the South Division is the strongest. Every team in the South except for Will Cover (an expansion team) has playoff experience. The North and West fall somewhere in the middle talent-wise, and the East looks comparatively weaker in terms of betting experience and proven winning. The division winners from 2009 all have targets on their backs. Here are the rankings heading into 2k10.
(current total; last week’s ranking)
1. Mr. DeBlasis ($0, –)
DeBlasis has made a natural progression the last few years in Funny Money. He was within a whisker of a division championship last season, and though he fizzled out in the ’09 playoffs, he’s earned top billing headed into this season.
2. Larisa Oleynik ($0, –)
The two-headed monster had a huge lead midseason and cruised to a division championship. Larisa grabbed second place in the playoffs but definitely had her regrets in hindsight. She looks like a franchise to beat this fall.
3. Yaz ($0, –)
The 2009 champ came on late in the regular season and never looked back. He weathered the storm during a rough playoffs and squeaked out a victory in the Super Bowl. A rookie last year, Yaz is now attempting to build a new Funny Money dynasty.
4. The People’s Champ ($0, –)
The Champ was a chump last year, with his worst finish, accumulating a ton of fines, and making uncharacteristic mistakes. History tells us that you can’t count him out when naming the handful of contenders in the FMFL.
5. T-Ferg ($0, –)
T-Ferg impressed in his rookie campaign, but his success was lost amid Rick Moranis’ big year. He should like his draw in the North division, but rumors of a potential sophomore slump are surfacing….
6. Blossom Russo ($0, –)
Blossom hovered around mediocre last year and knows that won’t cut the mustard for another season. He’ll either fade fast or be among the league leaders for the duration of the year.
7. Mr. Marbles ($0, –)
An up-and-down second half of the season left Marbles on the outside looking in when it came to the postseason. His experience and track record say that he should be a contender, but he’ll have to prove it in 2010.
8. Art Schlichter ($0, –)
Art surprised many in his first year in 2009, but will have to keep up the pace this fall if he wants to keep climbing the all-time standings.
9. Gordon Bombay ($0, –)
Much like The People’s Champ, Bombay just didn’t bring his “A” game last year, surprising just about everybody. Look for him to bounce back.
10. Waldo Geraldo Faldo ($0, –)
After Week 15 last year, Waldo led Yaz by $1,800. In a monumental collapse the last two weeks, his lead disintegrated and he surrendered the division crown. Then in the playoffs, he bet the Colts and went from having the title in his grasp to end the season with nothing. 2010 is either a chance for redemption, or a continuation of the downward spiral.
OTHERS RECEIVING VOTES: Karl Farbman, Face, Kimmy Gibbler
DROPPED OUT: none
