The Top Ten: Week 6
Commentary: Another disappointing week for many Funny Money franchises, as New England, San Diego, and other favorites failed to cover. Blossom Russo dropped his wild card on the Pats, but isn’t out of it yet, considering the lackluster performance from the entire East Division. Only three franchises are at $0 or better after five weeks. Bayonnaise is the only former champion performing respectfully in 2013. The others: Larisa Oleynik (-$900), The People’s Champ (-$1,400), Karl Farbman (-$1,800), and Yaz (-$2,000) should be ashamed of themselves. This season is wide open for a slew of up and coming franchises to challenge Bayonnaise for the crown.
(total; previous ranking)
1. Kimmy Gibbler ($500; 1)
Kimmy won $100 by splitting her bets and in a year like this one, she’ll take any money she can get. Gibbler stays atop the overall standings and has a $500 lead in the South.
2. Bayonnaise ($100; 2)
The Naise dropped $100 but still leads the North. However, his big lead in the division has been trimmed by a newcomer and Week 6 could be big for him.
3. Kiko Garcia ($0; 3)
Kiko trails Kimmy in the South but is comfortably in playoff position after five weeks. Even money is not a bad place to be right now.
4. Face (-$100; 5)
Face wins a hundo and still leads the West. His also has a $700 cushion on the rest of the division.
5. Will Cover (-$300; NR)
Big moves for an old Funny Money titan. Will wins $500 and emerges from the mediocrity to put himself right up there with Kimmy and Kiko in the South.
6. The Big Hurt (-$500; NR)
The Big Hurt really showed me something by picking both games correctly last week. But late bets cost him $100, putting him $600 behind division leader Bayonnaise.
7. Gordon Bombay (-$500; 9)
Through five weeks of moderate ups and downs, Bombay leads the East at -$500. He’s been able to observe the rest of the division struggling, and despite a subpar performance by Gordon standards, he’s in playoff position.
8. Bud Fox (-$600; 7)
Bud dropped $100 and stays right behind Bombay in the East. With the way things are going, the first one to $0 wins the division.
9. Ron Mexico (-$600; 4)
Ronnie looked to be pulling away, but then dropped $500 last week and fell back to the rest of the East chumps. He’ll look to rebound in Week 6.
10. Art Schlichter (-$800; NR)
Art is quietly within earshot of the lead in the North, and has plenty of time to make up the difference.
Others receiving votes: Waldo Geraldo Faldo; Larisa Oleynik; Rick Moranis; The Beard of Zeus
Dropped out: Larisa Oleynik; Blossom Russo; The Phoenix
The Top Ten: Week 5
Commentary: A better week for the league, and things are starting to even out more, as this week we had the top three franchises in The Top Ten maintain their positions from last week, and only one new franchise cracked the rankings this week. The league is still down as a whole, but we had far less casualties than in the previous two weeks. At the quarter pole of the season, one wonders if the final playoff spots will be much lower this season. Usually around $1,000 to $1,400 will put you into contention in the final weeks. This season, at least right now, it’s looking more like $0 would mean a ticket to the postseason dance.
(Total; previous ranking)
1. Kimmy Gibbler ($400; 1)
Kimmy maintains the top spot with a solid $300 week. He also has a $300 lead in the South, which looks to be like the most competitive division top-to-bottom thus far.
2. Bayonnaise ($200; 2)
The ‘Naise also won $300 in Week 4, and is beginning to disprove the critics that thought last season was a fluke. He has a huge $1,000 lead in the North, even though it’s early in the season.
3. Kiko Garcia ($100; 3)
Huge week for Kiko as he wins $500 and is now on the positive side of $0. He pulls closer to Gibbler and is within earshot of the overall lead as well.
4. Ron Mexico (-$100; 9)
Ron won $500 and surged to the top of the East Division. After a slow start, he is beginning to separate himself from the rest of the East.
5. Face (-$200; 4)
Face won $300 and maintains his lead in the West. It isn’t pretty, but the West looks like it is his to lose. He’s up $700 on the rest of the field.
6. Larisa Oleynik (-$400; 5)
Larisa split her bets and won $100, staying close behind Ronnie in the East. Everyone knows she is a dangerous franchise, and Larisa has managed to weather the storm early in the year, and is now looking to pounce.
7. Bud Fox (-$500; 8)
Bud won $100 as well and remains grouped together with the rest of the middle of the pack in the East.
8. Blossom Russo (-$500; 10)
Blossom keeps pace in the by winning $100, too, staying right behind Larisa and only $400 from the division lead.
9. Gordon Bombay (-$600; 6)
Gordon dropped $100 and fell behind his colleagues in the East. Though he has struggled so far, he is right in the thick of it compared to the rest of the FMFL.
10. The Phoenix (-$800; NR)
Yes, that’s right. The Phoenix rises with a perfect week, hitting all three of his bets. Pigs are flying and The Phoenix is in The Top Ten.
Others receiving votes: Rick Moranis; Will Cover; The Notorious A.B.T.
Dropped out: The Notorious A.B.T.
The Top Ten: Week 4
Commentary: Another brutal week in the FMFL. The majority of the league bet either Minnesota, Green Bay, Atlanta, and the NY Giants, or a combination of those teams. They all went down in flames. One franchise is above zero. One. Out of 28. Collectively, the league is -$24,900. Or about an average of -$900 each. Several franchises still have not registered a correct pick. Kenny Powers and Karl Farbman both lost their wild card bets, making the league 0 for 3 this season. Let’s shake it off, fellas. Don’t worry about it. We are just about all in the same boat, and oddly enough, it’s still anyone’s game. Even those -$1,500 in the hole can have hope.
(Total; previous ranking)
1. Kimmy Gibbler ($100; 3)
Kimmy was able to avoid the downward spiral the rest of the Funny Money, winning $100 and taking over the number one spot, putting a little lipstick on this pig of a league.
2. Bayonnaise (-$100; 2)
The Naise lost $100 last week, but now has a $700 lead on the rest of the North Division.
3. Kiko Garcia (-$400; 1)
Kiko dropped $500, but didn’t really lose too much. He’s in second in the South, which looks to be a three-horse race at the moment.
4. Face (-$500; NR)
In the land of the skunk, the man with half a nose is king. Face loses just $100 and rockets up the standings to the top of the West. He maintains a slender lead over Waldo Geraldo Faldo.
5. The Notorious A.B.T. (-$500; NR)
The A.B.T. was wise enough to bet a four teamer in these tough times to minimize risk. However, he lost three of four. But that one win was enough to get him in The Top Ten.
6. Gordon Bombay (-$500; 4)
Lost -$500, but still tied for the lead in the East Division. Coming into the season, the East looked to be by far the toughest draw. Not so much now…
7. Larisa Oleynik (-$500; 5)
See Bombay’s description. Tied up as well, doing as best she can.
8. Bud Fox (-$600; NR)
Bud had one loss, one win, and one push in Week 3. With that type of mediocrity, you can quickly become dominant in the 2013version of the FMFL.
9. Ron Mexico (-$600; 8)
Consider this: Ron didn’t put in bets one week out of the first three, and somehow he is still better than two thirds of the league.
10. Blossom Russo (-$600; 7)
Two losses and -$500 for Russo. She’s okay, though, only $100 off the lead in the awful East.
Others receiving votes: Waldo Geraldo Faldo; Art Schlichter; Teddy KGB
Dropped out: Waldo Geraldo Faldo; The People’s Champ; Teddy KGB
The Top Ten: Week 3
Commentary: If we were all betting real money in Vegas, by now most of us would be penniless and working at a casino buffet to make ends meet. Another brutal week for the league. One franchise is above even money. Eight franchises are at -$800 or worse. Yaz crashed and burned with his wild card bet, and is in a $1,500 hole after a fortnight. Ron Mexico and Art Schlichter had no bets, but both remained somewhat relevant since the rest of the league did so poorly. There are some new names in The Top Ten this week, as it seems the 2013 season is wide open.
(total; last week’s ranking)
1. Kiko Garcia ($100; NR)
It’s not every week that someone climbs all the way to the number one ranking after being unranked the week before. Kiko did just that by weathering the storm and winning $300 in Week 2. He leads the overall, but there’s a long way to go.
2. Bayonnaise ($0; NR)
The only franchise that really came up big in Week 2 was Bayonnaise, who won $500 after dropping that same amount in Week 1. He’s back on top of the North.
3. Kimmy Gibbler ($0; 4)
A cover by Dallas has Gibbler at even money and up to the number three spot on The Top Ten. Looks like 2013 could be the year she turns it around…
4. Gordon Bombay ($0; 7)
Gordon won $100 in Week 2, and jumped back up to the top of the East, tied with Larisa. With the way this year is going, ekeing out positive money goes a long way in the standings.
5. Larisa Oleynik ($0; 1)
Larisa dropped $500 and is back to even. She had a chance to pull way ahead of the field, but the Saints and Lions both failed to cover.
6. Waldo Geraldo Faldo (-$100; 3)
Waldo dropped $300, but remained at the top of the putrid West Divsion. As of now, he looks like the franchise to beat, but the rest of the division is not far behind.
7. Blossom Russo (-$100; NR)
Blossom won $300 and got back into contention this week, but she’ll need to step up her game if she wants to hang with the big boys in the East.
8. Ron Mexico (-$100; 2)
No bets from Ronnie in Week 2. Could have been worse, considering how the rest of the league did, but this was definitely a missed opportunity for him.
9. Teddy KGB (-$300; NR)
Do not adjust your computer screen/mobile device: Teddy is in the power rankings. The West is essentially up for grabs. Will KGB take advantage?
10. The People’s Champ (-$300; NR)
We’ve been here before with the Champ, who also is right behind Waldo in the West. Considering the Giants are 0-2, and that TPC only wins when they win, I don’t like his chances.
Others receiving votes: Face; The 21th Precinct; The Notorious ABT
Dropped out: Face; Will Cover; Karl Farbman; Bud Fox; Art Schlichter
The Top Ten: Week 2
Commentary: Well….we’re back. Kind of. A brutal week for the league, as 12 of the 28 franchises failed to notch a win. Covers by San Diego, Oakland, and the NY Jets doomed a large percentage of the FMFL. An especially bad week for Babe, who because of his late bets, starts the season down $600. Two franchises were perfect, and they lead the way. Though it’s still early in the year and there is plenty of time to catch up, all those who lost $500 or more cannot afford a winless Week 2.
1. Larisa Oleynik ($500)
The always dangerous Larisa starts off hot, winning both of her bets and tied for the East and Overall leads. The divisional competition is stiff, and many pundits believe that the East champion will be the regular season champ as well.
2. Ron Mexico ($500)
Ronnie rode San Diego’s big Monday night lead and hung on for a perfect week. He’s keeping up with Larisa and has shown in the past that he has what it takes to go toe-to-toe for the long run.
3. Waldo Geraldo Faldo ($200)
Waldo has always chosen the strategy of wager on a lot of games. The results have been mixed, but in Week 1, he won two games, lost one, and pushed one. It’s enough for the lead in the West. Only 16 weeks to go.
4. Kimmy Gibbler ($100)
In a blast from the past, Kimmy is relevant again. She leads the South after a tough first week of the season. Kimmy is the only franchise in the positive in the South.
5. Face ($100)
Face looks to be one of the clear favorites in the West, and he was a Eli Manning chokefest away from perfect week. He trails Waldo by a mere $100.
6. Will Cover (-$100)
With much of the rest of the field bunched together, Will is one name that is to be feared. Look for him to break out in Week 2 (no pressure, Will).
7. Gordon Bombay (-$100)
Gordon is the target of the rest of the stacked East Division, as his failure to draft put together this collection of gambling powerhouses. So far, Gordie has cut out the noise and is tied for third place in the East.
8. Karl Farbman (-$100)
A former champion coming off a disappointing 2012 campaign, Farbman has the potential to be a true contender. However, digging himself a $600 hole to start the season won’t help him.
9. Bud Fox (-$100)
Since he came into the league, Bud has always been in the playoff hunt. He remains near the top of the league with a ho-hum week.
10. Art Schlichter (-$100)
The putrid North Division almost failed to have a franchise in The Top Ten, but Art makes it this week. He’s tied for the division lead with Mr. Marbles, but so far in the North, there are no winners.
Also receiving votes: Mr. Marbles; Teddy KGB; Kiko Garcia
