The 2017 Postseason Report
Gentlemen – Another season in the books. Overall, this was like many other seasons of the FMFL, with ups and downs throughout 17 weeks. Underdogs had a brief run early in the year, and with favorites performing well the second half of the season, there were gaudy totals across the board. Yet, the final playoff spot was still claimed where it usually falls, somewhere between +$1,000 and +$1,500.
Here’s a breakdown of how the league did as a whole each week:
Week 1: -$3,900
Week 2: +$2,500
Week 3: -$2,300
Week 4: +$2,600
Week 5: +$2,500
Week 6: -$7,500
Week 7: -$3,400
Week 8: +$4,600
Week 9: +$7,700
Week 10: -$900
Week 11: +$5,100
Week 12: +$800
Week 13: +$4,400
Week 14: -$700
Week 15: -$1,600
Week 16: -$2,000
Week 17: +$2,200
That’s a cumulative total of +$10,100, which is pretty remarkable. We had a few weeks (Weeks 11 and 13 especially) when many franchises used their wild cards on a few teams and those teams all won, which raised the bar for the division winning totals this year.
Disclaimer: The following is a completely biased report of the 2017 FMFL Regular Season. The views, opinions, and observations that follow are those of the Executive Director and are completely subjective.
East Division
Bud Fox
Final Total: -$400
Winning Percentage: 0.520
Fines: $0
Wild Card Bet: Week 15 – Atlanta – Lost
Recap: Bud never got it going this season, and a late wild card bet loss put the final nail in his coffin. When Bud came into the league, he was on fire from the get-go, but seems to have lost his mojo lately.
Grade: C-
Chris B. Corey
Final Total: $800
Winning Percentage: 0.513
Fines: $0
Wild Card Bet: Week 13 – Seattle – Won
Recap: It was a disappointing finish for Chris B. Corey, who was in prime playoff position down the stretch only to lose a postseason berth in the final weeks.
Grade: B
Face
Final Total: $1,600
Winning Percentage: 0.477
Fines: $0
Wild Card Bet: Week 15 – Baltimore – Won
Recap: Face’s second half of the season was abysmal (just look at his winning percentage), yet he hung on to make the playoffs. Chalk it up to good money management and hitting his bigger bets when he needed to. Also, his “fade the Browns” betting theory paid off handsomely, particularly with his wild card bet.
Grade: B+
Judge Smails
Final Total: -$100
Winning Percentage: 0.443
Fines: $500
Wild Card Bet: Week 8 – Atlanta – Won
Recap: After a disappointing rookie campaign in 2016, Smails had a stronger season in 2017. However, fines set him back and put him out of the playoff picture with a few weeks to go. Something to build on for 2018 for sure.
Grade: C+
Patrick Bateman
Final Total: $3,600
Winning Percentage: 0.598
Fines: $0
Wild Card Bet: Week 17 – San Francisco – Won
Recap: The first half of the season was a roller coaster for Bateman, but he was lights out the second half of the year, including a $1,000 Week 17 to give him the overall and division crowns. He’s on fire heading into the postseason.
Grade: A+
The Beard of Zeus
Final Total: $200
Winning Percentage: 0.527
Fines: $100
Wild Card Bet: Week 16 – Jacksonville – Lost
Recap: The Beard fell apart in December after a great three quarters of the season. If his wild card bet would have gone another way to stop the bleeding around the holidays, it would be a different story.
Grade: B-
The Big Hurt
Final Total: -$2,700
Winning Percentage: 0.384
Fines: $0
Wild Card Bet: Week 6 – Kansas City – Lost
Recap: Back to normal for The Big Hurt. Just 38%? Oy vey.
Grade: D-
Yaz
Final Total: -$600
Winning Percentage: 0.515
Fines: $100
Wild Card Bet: Week 1 – Pittsburgh – Lost
Recap: Week 1 was rough for Yaz and he couldn’t recover, despite a strong run during the middle of the year. Is he no longer a franchise to be feared?
Grade: C-
North Division
Babe
Final Total: -$1,000
Winning Percentage: 0.415
Fines: $500
Wild Card Bet: Week 12 – Oakland – Won
Recap: Babe had a lot of fines this year and despite winning his wild card bet. He may be one of the first franchises drafter next season.
Grade: D+
Bayonnaise
Final Total: -$100
Winning Percentage: 0.487
Fines: $700
Wild Card Bet: Week 9 – Indianapolis – Won
Recap: Bayonnaise was in the thick of it until he didn’t bet with a few weeks to go, which sent him into a downward spiral to end the year.
Grade: C
Blossom Russo
Final Total: -$4,300
Winning Percentage: 0.383
Fines: $2,200
Wild Card Bet: Week 7 – Carolina – Lost
Recap: Get ‘em next year, champ.
Grade: F
Don Mattingly
Final Total: -$500
Winning Percentage: 0.490
Fines: $0
Wild Card Bet: Week 16 – Philadelphia – Lost
Recap: His Week 16 wild card bet loss was brutal, considering the Eagles decided not to kick the extra point that would’ve given him the win. However, hitting 49% of your bets doesn’t usually dictate success. Now that Neon Boudeaux split from him and we’ve seen the results (keep reading), we can definitely surmise who the weak link was….
Grade: C-
Gordon Bombay
Final Total: -$1,900
Winning Percentage: 0.429
Fines: $100
Wild Card Bet: Week 16 – Detroit – Lost
Recap: An uncharacteristic poor performance from Gordon in 2017 and if he were a stock, it would be smart to buy now and then see what happens in 2018.
Grade: D
Kimmy Gibbler
Final Total: $3,500
Winning Percentage: 0.657
Fines: $0
Wild Card Bet: Week 17 – San Francisco – Won
Recap: Kimmy had a monster finish to pull away with the division title and is one of the favorites for the playoffs.
Grade: A
Larisa Oleynik
Final Total: $400
Winning Percentage: 0.500
Fines: $100
Wild Card Bet: Week 5 – Kansas City – Won
Recap: Right down the middle for Larisa this season, finishing with 0.500 betting record. She was close to the playoffs but didn’t get a few breaks to put her over the top.
Grade: B-
Shecky
Final Total: $1,900
Winning Percentage: 0.565
Fines: $0
Wild Card Bet: Week 17 – Cleveland – Won
Recap: Shecky stumbled with a couple weeks to go, then finished with a $1,000 week to make the playoffs. He was a model of consistency throughout the year and has a lot of experience to bring to the postseason.
Grade: A-
South Division
Boss Hardigan
Final Total: $1,900
Winning Percentage: 0.536
Fines: $0
Wild Card Bet: Week 8 – Minnesota – Won
Recap: The Boss almost fell apart in the final month, but recovered in Week 17 to make the playoffs. He should view the regular season as somewhat disappointing, since he was neck and neck with Neon for the division crown for most of the season.
Grade: B+
Chalky Studebaker
Final Total: -$2,000
Winning Percentage: 0.397
Fines: $200
Wild Card Bet: Week 17 – LA Rams – Lost
Recap: Chalky had an off year, hitting less than 40% and was never really a factor during 2017.
Grade: D-
Karl Farbman
Final Total: $600
Winning Percentage: 0.559
Fines: $0
Wild Card Bet: Week 12 – Detroit – Lost
Recap: Karl bottomed out with his wild card bet loss, and then made a charge in the final five weeks, but it was too little, too late.
Grade: B-
Kiko Garcia
Final Total: $1,400
Winning Percentage: 0.513
Fines: $0
Wild Card Bet: Week 9 – Indianapolis – Won
Recap: Kiko surged post-Thanksgiving and made the playoffs by the skin of his teeth. He’s another franchise with playoff experience that could be tough to beat.
Grade: B
Neon Boudeaux
Final Total: $2,900
Winning Percentage: 0.617
Fines: $0
Wild Card Bet: Week 5 – Indianapolis – Won
Recap: Neon bet a lot of games and won most of them, including a nail-biter for his wild card bet. His consistency put him over the top for the division title and he seems to have shed the dead weight (Don Mattingly) and is running hot.
Grade: A
OJ
Final Total: -$2,900
Winning Percentage: 0.352
Fines: $0
Wild Card Bet: Week 12 – Detroit – Lost
Recap: OJ barely picked a winner in the last six weeks of the season and his 35% winning rate is a scar that shall remain on his person for all of time.
Grade: F
Thine
Final Total: $900
Winning Percentage: 0.592
Fines: $300
Wild Card Bet: Week 6 – Baltimore – Lost
Recap: Thine had a strong winning percentage but didn’t manage his bankroll, losing his big bet and a few other large wagers when it counted coming down the stretch. He was a stone’s throw from the playoffs but withered in December.
Grade: B
Waldo Geraldo Faldo
Final Total: $300
Winning Percentage: 0.545
Fines: $100
Wild Card Bet: Week 5 – NY Giants – Lost
Recap: An early wild card bet loss but Waldo behind the eight ball for the rest of the season, and despite some consistency in the second half, he wasn’t hot enough to make a playoff push.
Grade: C
West Division
Donnie Jeffcoat
Final Total: $1,200
Winning Percentage: 0.553
Fines: $0
Wild Card Bet: Week 17 – Buffalo – Won
Recap: Rookie Donnie performed really well but will use this as a learning experience. He had his grip on a playoff spot, but couldn’t string together wins when he needed them most in Week 16 and 17.
Grade: B+
Dr. Oge
Final Total: -$100
Winning Percentage: 0.469
Fines: $0
Wild Card Bet: Week 17 – Cleveland – Won
Recap: The defending champ went quietly into the night in 2017. Oge was barely on the radar for most of the year.
Grade: C-
Kenny Powers
Final Total: $2,800
Winning Percentage: 0.712
Fines: $0
Wild Card Bet: Week 6 – Atlanta – Lost
Recap: Kenny set the FMFL season record for winning percentage, and he needed every one of them, as the tiebreaker gave him the division title. It was an amazing year for him despite losing his wild card bet early in the season.
Grade: A
Mr. Marbles
Final Total: -$300
Winning Percentage: 0.485
Fines: $100
Wild Card Bet: Week 15 – New England – Push
Recap: A push on his wild card bet in Week 15 ended Marbles’ hopes for the playoffs.
Grade: C
Rick Moranis
Final Total: $2,800
Winning Percentage: 0.635
Fines: $0
Wild Card Bet: Week 17 – San Francisco – Won
Recap: Rick had a tremendous season, but unfortunately came up short with the tiebreaker for the division. I guess it should make him feel better that Kenny had an all-time season? Rick always seems to be just a hair away from winning the big money. Maybe the postseason will be better for him.
Grade: A
T-Ferg
Final Total: -$1,600
Winning Percentage: 0.419
Fines: $700
Wild Card Bet: Week 12 – Jacksonville – Lost
Recap: T-Ferg had a poor season all around, with a bad winning percentage, some missed bets, and he couldn’t save it with a wild card loss in Week 12.
Grade: D
The Notorious ABT
Final Total: $1,800
Winning Percentage: 0.566
Fines: $0
Wild Card Bet: Week 9 – Indianapolis – Won
Recap: The Notorious ABT catapulted into the playoffs with a wild card win and some smart, conservative play down the stretch.
Grade: B+
The People’s Champ
Final Total: -$1,200
Winning Percentage: 0.398
Fines: $100
Wild Card Bet: Week 9 – Indianapolis – Won
Recap: The Champ never had the spark from past years, but maybe if Eli retires, his luck will change? (TBD)
Grade: D+
2017 Final Wager Tracking
2017 Final Winning Percentages
Playoff Races Through Week 16
East
Patrick Bateman has a $500 lead and still has his wild card bet available, so he is in the driver’s seat. Face still has a chance to catch him whether Bateman uses his wild card bet or not.
North
Kimmy Gibbler has a nice cushion on Shecky, leading by $1,600, but both franchises have their wild card bets left. Kimmy could be going for the overall title as well, which could open the door for Shecky to make an epic comeback after a rough December.
South
Neon Boudeaux has the most comfortable division lead with one week to go. He’s up $1,000 and no one trailing has their wild card bet left that is chasing him for the division. He needs merely one correct pick in Week 17 to lock up the South.
West
Kenny Powers is holding onto his lead, but a surging Rick Moranis is lurking. Rick also has his wild card bet on the table for Week 17 and will surely pull the trigger.
Overall Title
It will be a crazy Week 17 for sure for the big regular season prize. Neon holds the lead, but with Kenny Powers right behind him. Then the next three franchises, Patrick Bateman, Kimmy Gibbler, and Rick Moranis all have wild card bets.
Wild Card Spots
The top six non-division winners make the postseason. Face has secured a spot in the playoffs. Rick Moranis could be vulnerable if he loses his wild card bet, but if not, he’ll be in the playoffs. Boss Hardigan and The Notorious ABT hold strong positions with one week to go. Chris B. Corey and Thine hold the final two spots, but several franchises are right behind them, including Shecky and Donnie Jeffcoat, who will be using their wild card bets in Week 17. Several others are in the mix and will hope to win $500 and that others fall back.
Winning Percentages Through Week 16
The 2017 Midseason Report
Gentlemen – Nine weeks in the books in 2017. Last week was a B12 shot for many franchises that cashed in on their wild card bets, and overall the league is humming along. There were only a few major disaster weeks when most of the league suffered, but for the most part pitfalls were avoided and the favorites covered.
Here’s a breakdown of how the league did as a whole each week:
Week 1: -$3,900
Week 2: +$2,500
Week 3: -$2,300
Week 4: +$2,600
Week 5: +$2,500
Week 6: -$7,500
Week 7: -$3,400
Week 8: +$4,600
Week 9: +$7,700
That’s a cumulative total of +$2,800.
Disclaimer: The following is a completely biased report of the first nine weeks of the FMFL. The views, opinions, and observations that follow are those of the Executive Director and are completely subjective.
East Division
Bud Fox
Current Total: -$500
Winning Percentage: 0.464
Fines: $0
Wild Card Bet: Still Available
Recap: Bud struggled out of the gate and seems to have made a slight comeback. With the wild card bet still on the table, don’t count him out just yet.
Grade: C-
Chris B. Corey
Current Total: $800
Winning Percentage: 0.575
Fines: $0
Wild Card Bet: Still Available
Recap: CBC, now enjoying the rare air of the Pacific Northwest, is in solid position heading into the second half. He’ll have a good shot to challenge for the East Division.
Grade: B+
Face
Current Total: $1,300
Winning Percentage: 0.619
Fines: $0
Wild Card Bet: Still Available
Recap: Face has righted the ship after a few down years and boasts a strong winning percentage. He’ll be in a dogfight with The Beard of Zeus and others the last two months.
Grade: A-
Judge Smails
Current Total: $100
Winning Percentage: 0.411
Fines: $300
Wild Card Bet: Week 8 – Atlanta – Won
Recap: Smails’ inaugural spin through the FMFL did not go as he planned, but this year he has made some moves to get back above even money. If he could avoid fines in the second half, might he have a chance to get invited to the playoff dance?
Grade: C
Patrick Bateman
Current Total: $700
Winning Percentage: 0.478
Fines: $0
Wild Card Bet: Still Available
Recap: It’s been a year of big swings for Bateman who was way up, then came back down to earth and now seems to be staying within shouting distance of the division leaders.
Grade: B
The Beard of Zeus
Current Total: $1,200
Winning Percentage: 0.611
Fines: $100
Wild Card Bet: Still Available
Recap: Only $100 out of the lead in the East, The Beard is back to his winning ways. Who will blink first in this division and bet his wild card?
Grade: A-
The Big Hurt
Current Total: -$1,200
Winning Percentage: 0.407
Fines: $0
Wild Card Bet: Week 6 – Kansas City – Lost
Recap: Even TBH’s beloved Chiefs couldn’t save his season. For the next eight weeks, he will be rearranging the deck chairs on the Titanic.
Grade: D
Yaz
Current Total: -$800
Winning Percentage: 0.500
Fines: $0
Wild Card Bet: Week 1 – Pittsburgh – Lost
Recap: Yaz came out of the gate with a bold Steelers wild card bet….that was a bust. He has somehow clawed his way back, but has plenty of work to do.
Grade: D+
North Division
Babe
Current Total: -$900
Winning Percentage: 0.400
Fines: $400
Wild Card Bet: Still Available
Recap: 2017 has been filled with losses, fines, and a ho-hum performance by a storied FMFL franchises. I’m not mad, just disappointed.
Grade: D
Bayonnaise
Current Total: $600
Winning Percentage: 0.455
Fines: $0
Wild Card Bet: Week 9 – Indianapolis – Won
Recap: A week ago, this grade would have been a lot worse, but a wild card win has the ‘Naise sitting pretty. His success is due to a tip he found on the popular website “San Diego Date Ideas”: ignore all members of the opposite sex and spend all of your free time studying point spreads.
Grade: C+
Blossom Russo
Current Total: -$2,700
Winning Percentage: 0.300
Fines: $200
Wild Card Bet: Week 7 – Carolina – Lost
Recap: Come on.
Grade: F
Don Mattingly
Current Total: -$300
Winning Percentage: 0.464
Fines: $0
Wild Card Bet: Still Available
Recap: Don Mattingly lost one of his former partners (Neon Boudeaux) and the 2017 season has been a clear portrait who was the brains in that duo.
Grade: C-
Gordon Bombay
Current Total: -$1,000
Winning Percentage: 0.407
Fines: $0
Wild Card Bet: Still Available
Recap: Gordon, Gordon, what happened to this fierce FMFL titan? There’s still a long way to go, but Bombay has a lot of ground to cover to be thinking playoffs.
Grade: D+
Kimmy GIbbler
Current Total: $1,300
Winning Percentage: 0.600
Fines: $0
Wild Card Bet: Still Available
Recap: Kimmy’s 60% winning rate and solid week-to-week performance should give her a great chance at the North title.
Grade: A-
Larisa Oleynik
Current Total: $700
Winning Percentage: 0.528
Fines: $0
Wild Card Bet: Week 5 – Kansas City – Won
Recap: Larisa continues to hang around and has been in the mix many times before. She’s trailing and will be hoping for some wild card losses from the other North franchises.
Grade: B
Shecky
Current Total: $1,500
Winning Percentage: 0.636
Fines: $0
Wild Card Bet: Still Available
Recap: Some years Shecky has it, and some years he doesn’t. 2017 looks to be the former. He’s leading his division with eight weeks left.
Grade: A-
South Division
Boss Hardigan
Current Total: $2,000
Winning Percentage: 0.650
Fines: $0
Wild Card Bet: Week 8 – Minnesota – Won
Recap: The Boss continues to impress. Just when he started to regress, he came back with a huge Week 8 to put him into a tie for the division lead.
Grade: A
Chalky Studebaker
Current Total: -$1,400
Winning Percentage: 0.304
Fines: $100
Wild Card Bet: Still Available
Recap: Chalky has been a mess since Week 1 and I don’t know if there’s any hope to save his season.
Grade: D-
Karl Farbman
Current Total: -$500
Winning Percentage: 0.444
Fines: $0
Wild Card Bet: Still Available
Recap: Inconsistency has plagued Karl all year and he’s teetering on the edge of insignificance.
Grade: D+
Kiko Garcia
Current Total: -$800
Winning Percentage: 0.348
Fines: $0
Wild Card Bet: Week 9 – Indianapolis – Won
Recap: Despite such a poor winning percentage, Kiko showed signs of life with his wild card win and will have to keep that momentum going in Week 10 to force his way back into the playoff picture.
Grade: D
Neon Boudeaux
Current Total: $2,000
Winning Percentage: 0.632
Fines: $0
Wild Card Bet: Week 5 – Indianapolis – Won
Recap: A strong first half for this rookie franchise, with points deducted for asking the Executive Director if he could take a knee one week.
Grade: A-
OJ
Current Total: -$100
Winning Percentage: 0.444
Fines: $0
Wild Card Bet: Still Available
Recap: Oddly enough, the release of the real OJ back into the wild hasn’t coincided with success for the FMFL franchise. At 44%, he’s lucky to be close to even money.
Grade: C-
Thine
Current Total: -$100
Winning Percentage: 0.518
Fines: $300
Wild Card Bet: Week 6 – Baltimore – Lost
Recap: Thine blew his proverbial wad on Dem Rayvens in Week 6 and has been fined multiple times, but still finds himself within reasonable striking distance.
Grade: C-
Waldo Geraldo Faldo
Current Total: -$200
Winning Percentage: 0.520
Fines: $0
Wild Card Bet: Week 5 – NY Giants – Lost
Recap: His wild card bet is gone, but WGF can push through the rest of the pack by stringing together a few winning weeks, and I wouldn’t overlook his experience.
Grade: C-
West Division
Donnie Jeffcoat
Current Total: $600
Winning Percentage: 0.557
Fines: $0
Wild Card Bet: Still Available
Recap: The new kid on the block, Donnie has delivered in the first half and might be able to shock some of the veterans in his first season.
Grade: B+
Dr. Oge
Current Total: -$900
Winning Percentage: 0.426
Fines: $0
Wild Card Bet: Still Available
Recap: Last year’s champ is still buzzing from his perfect [postseason and has been a shadow of his former self in 2017.
Grade: D
Kenny Powers
Current Total: $1,800
Winning Percentage: 0.792
Fines: $0
Wild Card Bet: Week 6 – Atlanta – Lost
Recap: How does a franchise win nearly 80% and not be annihilating the competition? He lost his wild card bet, which is one of the only things that Kenny did wrong in the first half of the year.
Grade: A
Mr. Marbles
Current Total: -$800
Winning Percentage: 0.444
Fines: $100
Wild Card Bet: Still Available
Recap: Marbles has clawed back into relevancy and needs to cash in his wild card bet (and maybe soon), or 2017 will be a failure to launch.
Grade: D+
Rick Moranis
Current Total: $300
Winning Percentage: 0.548
Fines: $0
Wild Card Bet: Still Available
Recap: Rick’s picks have been great, but his money management has held him back. Hopefully he’s taking better care of his personal finances (aka residual checks from Little Giants).
Grade: C+
T-Ferg
Current Total: -$300
Winning Percentage: 0.391
Fines: $0
Wild Card Bet: Still Available
Recap: It’s astonishing that T-Ferg is where he is, considering how few winners he has picked thus far. A postseason berth for him would be quite a remarkable comeback if he can make it happen.
Grade: C-
The Notorious ABT
Current Total: $400
Winning Percentage: 0.500
Fines: $0
Wild Card Bet: Week 9 – Indianapolis – Won
Recap: The ABT was another benefactor in Week 9, and is in position to charge towards the playoffs.
Grade: C+
The People’s Champ
Current Total: $100
Winning Percentage: 0.407
Fines: $100
Wild Card Bet: Week 9 – Indianapolis – Won
Recap: The Champ survived a dismal first half to the Giants season to get to here, but if history is any guide, if Eli and the G-men are down, so will be The Champ.
Grade: C
Total Wagers Through Week 9
Winning Percentages Through Week 9
Wild Card Bets Through Week 9
Welcome to the 2017 Season from Dr. Oge
(Editor’s note: The 2016 winner, Dr. Oge, has graciously contributed some wisdom as we kick off the 2017 season. His message is below.)
What It Takes to be Number One in Funny Money
Winning in Funny Money is not a sometime thing; it’s an all the time thing. You don’t win once in a while; you don’t do things right once in a while; you do them right all of the time. Winning Funny Money is a habit. Unfortunately, so is losing.
There is no room for second place. There is only one place in my game, and that’s first place. I have finished second twice in Funny Money, and I don’t ever want to finish second again. There is second place prize money, but it is a prize for losers. It is and always has been an American zeal to be first in anything we do, and to win, and to win, and to win, especially in Funny Money.
Every time a Funny Money player goes to ply his trade he’s got to play from the ground up – from the soles of his feet right up to his head. Every inch of him has to play. Some guys play with their heads. That’s O.K. You’ve got to be smart to be number one in any business. But more importantly, you’ve got to play with your heart, with every fiber of your body. If you’re lucky enough to find a guy with a lot of head and a lot of heart, he’s never going to come in second in Funny Money.
Running a Funny Money team is no different than running any other kind of organization – an army, a political party or a business. The principles are the same. The object is to win – to beat the other guy. Maybe that sounds hard or cruel. I don’t think it is.
It is a reality of life that men are competitive and the most competitive games draw the most competitive men. That’s why they are there – to compete. The object is to win fairly, squarely, by the rules – but to win.
And in truth, I’ve never known a man worth his salt who in the long run, deep down in his heart, didn’t appreciate the grind, the discipline. There is something in good men that really yearns for discipline and the harsh reality of head to head combat, especially in Funny Money.
I don’t say these things because I believe in the ‘brute’ nature of men or that men must be brutalized to be combative. I believe in God, and I believe in human decency. But I firmly believe that any man’s finest hour — his greatest fulfillment to all he holds dear — is that moment when he has worked his heart out in a good cause and lies exhausted on the field of battle – victorious in Funny Money.
– Vincent T. Lombardi (Famous Funny Money League Champion)
