Don Mattingly’s 2012 Season Preview
(Editor’s note: Before the season begins, we like to get another look at how the 2012 FMFL campaign might unfold. Don Mattingly is given carte blanche to write whatever he wants. The result is below. Enjoy.)
In late 1991, the WWF Championship was upheld due to several controversial finishes between old-time strongman and real American Hulk Hogan and then-newcomer the Undertaker. It was then decided by WWF President Jack Tunney (he was basically the Executive Director of the WWF to put this into perspective) to award the WWF Championship to the winner of the 1992 Royal Rumble. Clearly the stakes were raised, as the top “superstars” vied for the oh, so coveted title. Now twenty years later, it’s clear that the 2012 FMFL season is destined to mirror the 1992 Royal Rumble – a controversial betting strategy (Giants! Giants!! Giants!!!) employed by The People’s Champ to ‘wrestle’ away the 2011 title from long-time stalwart Karl Farbman, leading to an epic battle where anyone can claim the gold! Let’s take a look at each franchise, comparing them to a 1992 Royal Rumble participant, in the order of their elimination.
28. Million Dollar Man Ted Dibiase – Babe
Believe me, I was just as shocked as you to be informed that none other than the great Million Dollar Man was the first to go in the Rumble, but alas, sometimes even the greatest competitors, businessmen, and, quite frankly, indentured servant owners have bad days. Similarly, I think that Babe, one of the all-time greats has just spent way too much time bulking up on gyros and worrying about nuptial plans to really be a factor this season. The worst thing is that he doesn’t even own a diamond studded suit.
27. Nikolai Volkoff – Face
Here’s a softball – did anyone really think Nikolai Volkoff was going to win this shebang? Does anyone really think Face has a chance?
26. Greg “The Hammer” Valentine – The 21th Precinct
The 21th Precinct used to strike fear into the hearts of his opponents, just like The Hammer, but at this point, they’re both essentially longshots.
25. Repo Man – Kiko Garcia
Repo Man was once known as Smash – a member of former tag team juggernaut Demolition, however, the man with tire tracks on his leotard known for sneaking around the ring before his matches just, for some odd reason, never caught on with the fans. Kiko Garcia also has a history of being a great tag team of yesteryear but has just never caught on in the ranks of FMFL.
24. The British Bulldog – Waldo Geraldo Faldo
Always sort of stuck in the mid-card, never quite a main eventer – the definition of the British Bulldog and Waldo Geraldo Faldo. It also came out years after his death – he died of a heart attack supposedly brought on by the use of steroids, a rare way to die for a 1980s professional wrestler I’m told – that he used to drug and rape his wife, so you do the math with this pick. No means yes, Waldo…
23. The Texas Tornado Kerry Von Erich – Mr. DeBlasis
The Texas Tornado was a notorious drug user who became addicted to pain killers after having his foot amputated in 1986. 1992 was a make or break year for the Tornado, just like I feel 2012 will be a make or break year for Mr. DeBlasis. How did it work out for the Tornado? He ended up killing himself in 1993, a day after being indicted on prescription drug forgery, so…good luck with all that, Mr. D.
22. Tito Santana – The Notorious ABT
A favorite of many wrestling “insiders” for his tireless work ethic and pure wrestling ability, Tito was never really able to hit his ceiling as a title threat and became merely a “jobber to the stars”. ABT, I feel is incredibly similar. Both have the ability and pedigree to challenge for the title, but something just tells me that by the end of his run in the FMFL, he will be looked at more as a favorite amongst FMFL bloggers and stat heads than as a former championship contender.
21. Shawn Michaels – Don Mattingly
The similarities are endless – both are known as moody, immature, prima donnas who are more concerned about looking out for number one than anyone else around them. 1992 began Shawn’s meteoric rise to the top of the WWF, but, alas, the title would not be his at this time. The Donald is clearly a franchise on the rise in FMFL and will most likely go down as the greatest of all time when it’s all said and done, but I just don’t see 2012 as his year.
20. The Barbarian – Kimmy Gibbler
19. Hercules – Teddy KGB
Both known more for their bark than their bite, the Barbarian and Hercules could just never gain much momentum in the WWF and eventually faded into wrestling obscurity, known mainly by 90s wrestling nerds and, well…I guess that’s about it. Unfortunately, I see Kimmy Gibbler and Tedd KGB both suffering similar fates in the FMFL.
18. The Big Boss Man – Ron Mexico
This man of the law was just always teetering on the brink of a huge run, but was always too busy fending off the likes of heated rival The Mountie to really make anything of himself. Finishing seventh last season, Ron Mexico similarly always seems to be one lucky push away from superstardom, but instead will be relegated to the outside looking in.
17. Jimmy “Superfly” Snuka – Beard of Zeus
Just like the Superfly, the Beard’s best days are clearly behind him at this point. Sure, there was once a time when opponents shook in fear at the mere thought of stepping into the squared circle against such a titan, but he’s now merely a shell of his former self. Don’t get me wrong, fans will still clamor for The Beard much like they did for Superfly, but will he be champion? Give me a break, my man.
16. Jake “The Snake” Roberts – Gordon Bombay
Once one of the most successful franchises in FMFL, Gord’s golden days are definitely long gone. Much like Jake, Gord was once known for striking fear into his FMFL opponents with mind games and fear mongering opposing franchises about the Patriots inability to cover huge spreads. Do I see Gord’s decline going as far as Jake’s? In other words, will he develop a serious alcohol and crack problem, leading to a downward spiral of deceit, weight gain, and an incident where he exposes his real “snake” to a crowd of shocked “fans” at a wrestling show in a high school gym? In the words of one of my favorite 90s albums…”Definitely, maybe”.
15. Colonel Mustafa – Kenny Powers
The Iron Sheik left the WWF in the late 80s, only to return, rebranded as Iraqi sympathizer Colonel Mustafa in a less than memorable run. In a similar vein, Kenny Powers returns to the FMFL after a year away from the game. Unfortunately for Kenny, I’m predicting a similar failure upon his return.
14. The Undertaker – The People’s Champ
The seemingly devastating, monstrous former champ dumped out of the Rumble mid-way through. How could this happen? Sometimes you win, sometimes you lose, and sometimes it rains. The People’s Champ got hot at the right time last season, and rode that momentum to his second FMFL title in 2011. Much like the Taker, I feel like the People’s Champ will go down as one of the most storied franchises in FMFL history, I just don’t see 2012 as his year.
13. The Berzerker – Bud Fox
A promising newcomer, the Berzerker had a good run at the Rumble, but was anyone really nervous that a dude dressed like a Norseman would take home the title? Bud Fox has had a similar rise to the top of the FMFL, but I just don’t see him as a real threat at the end of the day.
12. “Hacksaw” Jim Duggan – Mr. Marbles
A huge crowd favorite, Hacksaw always came to the ring with a vengeance and a two by four, but was always left playing second fiddle to the Hulkster and the Ultimate Warrior in terms of being “the guy”. Senor Marbles (I believe it’s actually pronounced mar-blace), despite being the third most successful franchise in FMFL history can never quite surpass his counterparts, Karl or Larisa.
11. Virgil – Rick Moranis
One thing that wrestling historians seem to casually glance over when discussing the Golden Era of the 80s, is that it was not frowned upon for one wrestler to essentially own another wrestler. In 1991, Virgil finally, for lack of a better phrase, broke free from the chains of the Million Dollar Man and went on a strong run. However, by the time 1992 rolled around, fans just wised up and realized that they couldn’t take this clown seriously anymore. Like Virgil, I expect Rick to make his annual run, but in the end, he’ll just be left sitting lonely at baseball card shows, trying to creepily hawk autographed polaroids of himself at Freehold RACEWAY Mall.
10. Skinner – The Phoenix
The consummate dark horse lackey who just hangs on long enough to give the real stars a scare.
9. Sgt. Slaughter – Will Cover
The Sarge had a monstrous 1991, stunning many fans by turning against the US of A, aligning himself with Saddam Hussein, and taking the title from the Ultimate Warrior, proving once and for all that wrestling and politics DO mix. A year later, though, the Sarge was just as washed up as ever. Will Cover stunned many in FMF circles by taking his division’s crown last season. Like the Sarge, I predict a fall back to earth for this veteran.
8. Irwin R. Shyster (IRS) – Boss Hardigan
What’s more intimidating than a wrestling accountant? Surely not a pair of FMFL brothers pairing up to take on the top stars of the FMFL world. Like IRS, Boss Hardigan will enjoy his moments in the sun, but he’ll always just be fodder for the big boys.
7. The Warlord – Bayonnaise
There was no reason for the roided up freak known as the Warlord to be this close to a WWF title, just like there’s no reason for FMF fitness enthusiast Bayonnaise to be this close to a FMFL title.
6. Rick “The Model” Martel – T-Ferg
Much like T-Ferg, the Model was a savvy veteran known for his arrogance, incredibly handsome demeanor, and way with the lady folk. Also, much like T-Ferg, the Model routinely fell victim to his own miscues and could never quite muster up a legit run at the top.
Now we’re starting to get into the nitty gritty..the guys that actually have a shot at taking home the prize…
5. “Rowdy” Roddy Piper – Blossom Russo
Piper resurrected his career in 1992, even obtaining the WWF’s second rate title – the Intercontinental Championship, but much like many of the other jokers we’ve seen, could never get over the hump. Blossom Russo has just been so close to the promised land in the FMFL on a number of occasions but has never been able to take that next step – 2012 should be no different.
4. Randy “Macho Man” Savage – Art Schlichter
Macho Man’s and Art’s best days were definitely in the late 80s. They also share similarly creepy bromances with Hulk Hogan/Karl Farbman. After several years of toiling around, Macho Man burst back onto the scene in 1992 with a strong showing at the Rumble. Despite not winning the title that night, his career did go on to have a strong second life. Art, similarly, enjoyed years of success before meandering in relative obscurity in the FMFL the last few seasons. I predict Art will get his act together and pose a serious threat to the top franchises of FMF in 2012.
3. Hulk Hogan – Karl Farbman
2. Sid Justice – Yaz
1. Ric Flair – Larisa Oleynik
Then there were three. In the actual match, seemingly insurmountable odds for Ric as both the Hulkster and Sid gang up on the Nature Boy, but wait…Sid suddenly turns on the Hulkster and tosses him out of the Rumble. Then as Sid mouths off at Hogan, who’s now outside of the ring, Ric sneaks behind him and tosses him out to claim the title, yet another notch in the belt of the former champion.
How do I see this going down? Some sort of weird truce between FMFL favorites Farbman and Yaz to bet similarly on the Super Bowl, thus keeping former FMFL champion Larisa out of the money. But wait! Yaz turns on Karl and goes against the truce, and Larisa takes home the title over Yaz via tie breaker – karmic retribution. However, unlike Ric Flair, I hope to never see a phone camera photo of Larisa’s dong 15 years after this battle. Actually, yes, yes I do…WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!
The Rick Moranis Vegas Odds
(Editor’s Note: In past seasons, Rick Moranis, one of the most notorious Funny Money franchises, has done us the honor of previewing the league. This year, he goes division-by-division, providing odds for each franchises to be on top come January.)
Hello and welcome back. It has been seven months since the last meaningful NFL game was played. I hope you have used these many months off to listen to something you find enjoyable, like a piano concerto, the crickets chirping in your backyard, or a modern pop song containing the obligatory little rap verse. Now that the NFL is back, however, this is what you’ll be listening to as you follow your wagers this fall:
“This team has been absolutely decimated by injuries.”
“He took off around the edged and scampered in for a touchdown.”
“He’s a real football player.”
Let’s set the record straight: Roman armies “decimated” their vanquished rivals, it is a young deer that “scampers” spritely through the woods, and the last time I checked robots have yet to replace men on the gridiron. OK? Good. Just don’t tell Dan Dierdorf or Ron Jaworski. They’ll stare at you while primping their mustaches before pounding you with their microphone props, all while Jon Gruden watches. These guys! These guys are real commentators!
In their dubious honor, here are the team-by-team odds for winning the 2012 Funny Money Football Regular Season as they’d be proclaimed by a football commentator, watching football players play football, on the football field, in the National Foot…::HITS MUTE BUTTON::
EAST DIVISION
“The most heated rivalries are in the East. Games in other divisions seem like friendly encounters between good-natured sports compared to the ones in the East. Why? Because those teams don’t play in the East division where the rivalries are fierce!”
Karl Farbman
“Every year, this guy is just near the top. You talk about parity in the Funny Money Football League. Dynasties. You gotta hand it to this front office. Good division drafts, good game-day betting plans. This is what winning division titles is all about. Commitment to character. Special teams.”
Odds: 7 to 2
Boss Hardigan
“This guy hired his brother as ‘Betting Coordinator’ for this season. Smart move. Their father has been grooming them for the wagering lifestyle ever since breaking down pick-making film with them in North Jersey during the late 80’s.”
Odds: 12 to 1
Gordon Bombay
“He reminds me of Chad Johnson-Ochocinco-Johnson. He used to go by ‘Gordan’, ‘Gor-Dan’, and now he’s ‘Gordon’. Whatever he’s going to call himself next week, he can bet.”
Odds: 10 to 1
Mr. DeBlasis
“He was a teacher, DeBlasis was, before getting into funny money betting. Not many guys make that leap. I think that’s why he’s had a reputation as a ‘player’s bettor.’ Only one playoff berth, though, so ownership is demanding more accountability this year in place of a locker room harmony.”
Odds: 20 to 1
Teddy KGB
“Teddy KGB, talk about a guy that’s regressed. Playoffs his first year, hasn’t sniffed them since. Ownership is blaming an outdated stadium and lack of resources, but what matters is what you do on any given Sunday, as well as Thursday, Saturday, Monday, and this season, Wednesday.”
Odds: 1,000 to 1
The 21th Precinct
“The 21th Precinct needs to report some positive money statistics this year. A balanced attack keeps defenses on their toes. More wins than loses puts pressure on your divisional opponents. Fellas, it’s about making plays.”
Odds: 30 to 1
The Beard of Zeus
“He just looks like a football player. This is because he has a beard. He was born to RUN THE FOOTBALL in the North, but he is playing in the East.”
Odds: 8 to 1
NORTH DIVISION
“Teams in the North just LOVE to RUN THE FOOTBALL! Because it’s so cold! This stat sheet here says each team averages 50 passing attempts per game, and half the games are played in domes, but these teams just LOVE TO RUN THE FOOTBALL!”
Larissa Oleynik
“He, or she, or it, whatever, this thing won the regular season last year, so going by the standard, thoughtless, perfunctory pre-season prediction formula we all use, this means Larissa will win the regular season again this year.”
Odds: 5 to 2
Bayonnaise
“This guy is an athlete. Great time in the 5K and good in the pool and on the bike. But he needs to bulk up his betting skills! I saw him putting up more reps in Vegas during the offseason. He’s got a shot to be a player in this league.”
Odds: 18 to 1
Kimmy Gibbler
“Kimmy Gibbler. Had everyone excited back in 2008 with the franchise’s first playoff berth. You know Kimmy still has a winning record despite only one playoff berth? This league, you’ve got to have more than a winning record to succeed. You’ve got to have a really good winning record for success in the FMFL.”
Odds: 8 to 1
Ron Mexico
“The National Football League has been playing games in London, Tokyo, Toronto and Mexico. Globalization is the big thing today. And tomorrow, with expansion. The Funny Money Football League has got this guy, Ron Mexico, and he’s got literal expansion written all over him. Second place last year! Don’t get in his way at the buffet line.”
Odds: 7 to 1
The Phoenix
“I’ve read some Greek mythology, phoenix rising, Homer. Achilles today would be a linebacker! His heel, ha, his Achilles Heel though is making bets! Good thing he’s got Helen of Troy. She’s going to be on ‘Dancing With the Stars of Antiquity’ tonight following football and 60 Minutes, except on the west coast.”
Odds: 100 to 1
Waldo Geraldo Faldo
“Made a strong push near the end but faded at the finish line last year. You’ve gotta give it your all for 17 weeks in the Funny Money Football League. Guys just want to get nasty and take things from you. Happened in 2009, too. He’ll be OK though, this guy, because he’s been through the battles.”
Odds: 15 to 1
Yaz
“What a veteran. You know, you can’t teach how to be a veteran. He didn’t perform well last year, but because he’s a veteran I still think you’ve gotta like this guy. He just has so much fun being a kid out there slinging guns.”
Odds: 4 to 1
SOUTH DIVISION
“People love football in the South, but only college, particularly the SEC. These teams in the South may be good, wait until they have to go on the road in the North and play in the cold. Those North teams will just RUN THE FOOTBALL all over them!”
Will Cover
“Rough rookie year, added that sophomore swagger and SURGED into the playoffs. I’m really excited about what’s in store for this third year. I just love the number three, my number in college. Man, look at all that hair I had!”
Odds: 5 to 1
Babe
“I think he’s going to have a good season. On Thanksgiving, this guy is my pick to win the Turkey Gyroducken award, which is a duck and chicken gyro, made with turkey.”
Odds: 10 to 1
Don Mattingly
“Don Mattingly, this guy actually became two guys last year, and last year had a pretty good year. For this year, I see these twos guys having a pretty good year. I hear for this year got some old WD-40 for The Machine, this year.”
Odds: 12 to 1
Mr Marbles
“Good thing Mr. Marbles still has all his marbles after that hit he took last year. POW! He’ll shake it off, because he’s tough. He’s got dirt on his shirt and tie!”
Odds: 15 to 1
Rick Moranis
“So I said to her, ‘Honey, this guy shrunk his winnings account!’ But in all seriousness, betting on the Canadian Football League isn’t the same as betting on the National Football League as part of the Funny Money Football League.”
Odds: 10,000 to 1
T-Ferg
“In high school, as quarterback, I drove a T-Bird around town. I had a coach sit me down, look me in the eye and say, ‘It’s not about what you drive, but how you play.’ I still remember those words T-Ferg has got to realize that in this league, to get that ring, it’s about how you bet.”
Odds: 20 to 1
The Notorious A.B.T.
“I’ll tell ya what. He was just born to be a betting coach. Average talent, doesn’t get himself onto the leaderboard very much, but he’s smart, no frills, and just sees the game really well. I’d interview him in five years, that’s for sure.”
Odds: 40 to 1
WEST DIVISION
“These teams would all go 5-11 in the East, because they are just not used to real rivalries.”
Bud Fox
“Every league has got to have someone really cocky. This guy, this guy came into league with a lot of talk and made the playoffs. Let me tell you something, the Funny Money Football League playoffs are a different beast. Men and boys, separating. I’ll tell ya, big rookie learning experience. This guy is now really humble. Team player, locker room, charity outings. I like where they’re going.”
Odds: 8 to 1
Art Schlichter
“Now here’s a guy that really knows how to plan the most important event of any week, hands-down: the tailgate. Great koozies, too. But while perfecting his chili recipe, he’s forgotten how to place good bets.”
Odds: 15 to 1
Blossom Russo
“Russo is one of the originals. Great early years, lost some pieces and had a horrible year in 2010. Quietly rebuilt things in 2011 to make the playoffs, but was probably a year away. The fan base is now reenergized. Just look at those guys! Standing out there in the freezing weather without shirts on. That’s what this betting league is all about right there.
Odds: 8 to 1
Face
“I just love his nickname. Face. Say that again. Man, just sounds like he wants to get in there and push some guys off the line.”
Odds: 20 to 1
Kenny Powers
“Kenny Powers. Let me tell you something about Kenny Powers. He played in the league for a few years, average, left and then came back with an expansion franchise. Reminds me a lot of the Cleveland Browns. Otto Graham played in Cleveland, and he was a football player.”
Odds: 25 to 1
Kiko Garcia
“Big first year for Kiko. Came crashing back down to earth last year. You know what that tells me? His true colors are probably somewhere in the middle. In the Funny Money Football League, the middle is always open.”
Odds: 12 to 1
The People’s Champ
“All you’ve got to do to win the Funny Money Football Leauge is get into the playoffs of the Funny Money Football League. Just ask this guy. He’ll tell you all about it. Twice.”
Odds: 3 to 1
Welcome (back) Kenny Powers
There is only one expansion franchise this season. Sort of. Kenny Powers took a hiatus in 2011, and is now back in the Funny Money mix. Kenny has a less than stellar career resume, which can be found here, but he vows to improve in 2012.
Reportedly, Kenny took some time off, vacationed in Tibet, and did some soul searching. After finding himself on his trip, he came back to The Executive Director like the prodigal son, with his hat in his hands, asking for forgiveness.
Well, Kenny, we have killed the fatted calf and welcome you back to the FMFL. Good luck in the 2012 campaign.
Welcome to 2012 from The People’s Champ
(Editor’s note: The 2011 winner, The People’s Champ, has graciously contributed some wisdom as we kick off the 2012 season. His message is below.)
Gentlemen,
As the 2011 FMFL champion it is my honor to welcome you to the 2012 FMFL season. I’ve seen this league grow from the early days of 2007 when The Executive Director calculated the scores manually (and most of the time correctly) to the current iteration of the FMFL with a website, power rankings, and various weekly commentaries. Throughout all the change though there has been one constant: the dominance of The People’s Champion. As the league’s most successful franchise and it’s only two-time champion, it’s my duty to share some of my wisdom to kickoff the 2012 season. Without further ado here are three simple tips to improve your 2012 season:
- Avoid fines- fines will kill you. Any franchise with a history of receiving fines must seek out Bayonnaise and understand what mysterious force he used to go from the most-fined franchise in the FMFL to a perfect record last year.
- Always get submit your picks after The Executive Director has emailed his picks in. Otherwise he will analyze your picks and adjust his accordingly. (Ed. Note: This statement is the opinion of The People’s Champ, who consistently has been unable to defeat Karl Farbman in any of their regular season side-bets.)
- Most importantly, always, without-fail bet on the New York Giants. They will lead you to the promised land.
Let the 2012 FMFL season begin. Good luck and Godspeed.
-TPC
2012 Divisions
East
Karl Farbman
Boss Hardigan
Gordon Bombay
Mr. DeBlasis
Teddy KGB
The 21th Precinct
The Beard of Zeus
North
Larisa Oleynik
Bayonnaise
Kimmy Gibbler
Ron Mexico
The Phoenix
Waldo Geraldo Faldo
Yaz
South
Will Cover
Babe
Don Mattingly
Mr. Marbles
Rick Moranis
T-Ferg
The Notorious A.B.T.
West
Bud Fox
Art Schlichter
Blossom Russo
Face
Kenny Powers
Kiko Garcia
The People’s Champ
2012 Divisional Draft Chat
The following is a transcript from the FMFL Divisional Draft, which took place on August 26.
The Executive Director: Welcome to the 2012 FMFL Divisional Draft – Larisa is up
Larisa Oleynik: The Phoenix
The Executive Director: Solid pick – number one on a lot of draft boards
The Executive Director: Karl is up
Karl Farbman: I’ll take Teddy KGB
Karl Farbman: Not a closer
The Executive Director: Bud, you’re up
Bud Fox: Face
Will Cover: Does face get a seniors discount on league dues?
The Executive Director: Ha he should
The Executive Director: Will you’re up with two picks
Will Cover: I’ll take the ABT and Rick M
The Executive Director: Nice – back to you Bud
Bud Fox: Kenny Powers
The Executive Director: Back to Karl
Karl Farbman: I’ll take The 21th Precinct
The Executive Director: Larisa over to you for two picks
Larisa Oleynik: Give me the girl next door, Ms. Kimmy Gibbler
The Executive Director: Excellent
The Executive Director: and for your other pick?
Larisa Oleynik: And for my main course, slather me up with some Bayonnaise
Will Cover: Gross
The Executive Director: A delicious choice. Karl, back over to you
Karl Farbman: I’ll take the two brothers who couldn’t hack it with their own franchises, so they were forced to team up – Boss Hardigan
The Executive Director: Boss is off the board – back to you Bud
Bud Fox: We’ll take another two-headed team – Kiko
The Executive Director: Over to Will for two picks
Will Cover: T-Ferg and the Don
The Executive Director: T-Ferg and Don Mattingly off the board
The Executive Director: Back to Bud
Bud Fox: Art Schlichter
The Executive Director: Karl – you’re up
Karl Farbman: I’ll pick the best looking guy in Funny Money – Mr. DeBlasis
The Executive Director: Creepy. Larisa with two picks
Larisa Oleynik: Waldo Geraldo Faldo, naturally
The Executive Director: Naturally
The Executive Director: And with your other pick?
Larisa Oleynik: Ron Mexico, mr. international
The Executive Director: Excellente
Larisa Oleynik: LETS HAVE A REAL GOOD TIME, DALE!!!!
The Executive Director: Karl back to you
Karl Farbman: I’ll take the guy with the most facial hair in Funny Money – the Beard of Zeus
Will Cover: Don’t challenge him to a beard off
The Executive Director: Bud over to you
Bud Fox: People’s Champ
The Executive Director: Nice – the defending champion
Bud Fox: Don’t need him getting a big head by being last pick…
The Executive Director: Will over to you for your final two picks of the draft
Will Cover: Let’s make it three years in a row, give me some Marbles
The Executive Director: And for your final selection?
Will Cover: Babe
The Executive Director: Bud, your final pick?
Bud Fox: Blossom…everyone loves her
Larisa Oleynik: DAMMIT
The Executive Director: Karl – two franchises remain, who ya got?
Karl Farbman: I’ll take the Minnesota Miracle Man – Gordon Bombay
The Executive Director: Larisa – that leaves you with Yaz
Will Cover: nice
The Executive Director: Thanks for participating – any parting words as we head into the 2012 season?
Larisa Oleynik: Now you’re all in big, big trouble
Will Cover: Browns, Super Bowl! Naturally.
Karl Farbman: I must break you. All of you.
Bud Fox: Game on!
Welcome to the 2012 FMFL Season
Gentlemen – Welcome to the sixth season of the Funny Money Football League.
The Divisional Draft will be held on Sunday, August 26, and the results will be posted shortly after. More to come next week.
