Week 9 Lines
Note: Bets must be placed by Saturday night at midnight in order to be considered on time.
The Midseason Report
Gentlemen – As we head into Act II of the sixth edition of the Funny Money Football League, the playoff picture is suddenly becoming clear. Some familiar faces are leading each of the four divisions, and a handful of other well-known franchises are in the mix right behind them. What’s most interesting to note is that many of the franchises between -$200 and -$600 still have their wild card bets, meaning they can quickly rewrite the playoff chase script with one solid week. Here’s a look back at each franchise’s performance in the first half of the 2012 season.
Disclaimer: The following is a completely biased report of the first eight weeks of the FMFL. The views, opinions, and observations that follow are those of The Executive Director and are completely subjective.
East Division
Boss Hardigan
Current Total: -$700
Winning Percentage: 0.441
Fines: $0
Wild Card Bet: Still Available
Recap: The Boss made a big move in the offseason, merging with hermano Slovy Maximus to create a two-headed franchise. The results have been mixed at best so far, and seem more like the Boss Hardigan of old. On the positive side, he has his wild card bet still available, and the playoffs are only a few good weeks away from being realistic.
Grade: C+
Gordon Bombay
Current Total: $800
Winning Percentage: 0.619
Fines: $0
Wild Card Bet: Still Available
Recap: Gordon should be happy with his first half performance, especially the last few weeks. There was a time in early October that he could have faded, but he did the exact opposite and just kept winning. As a veteran franchise, Bombay is one that figures to be around for the long haul, and at the very least has a good shot at making the playoffs.
Grade: B+
Karl Farbman
Current Total: $1,400
Winning Percentage: 0.618
Fines: $0
Wild Card Bet: Week 7 – Pittsburgh ($800) – Won
Recap: The two-time defending champion of the East Division got off to a shaky start, but came on strong in October, especially with a big $1,000 sprint in Week 7. Karl’s no stranger to being at the top of the division and having to hold off the pack, but he still hasn’t put together many solid weeks of betting. With most of the division franchises having their wild card bet and Farbman’s long gone, the division race is far from over. But it looks like he’ll contend once again.
Grade: A-
Mr. DeBlasis
Current Total: -$1,100
Winning Percentage: 0.405
Fines: $0
Wild Card Bet: Still Available
Recap: In the days of yore, DeBlasis was a force to be reckoned with, and was sneaky good at eking out a few hundred here and there all season long. Then you’d look at the calendar in December and Mister Mister would be right in the playoff hunt. In 2012, he plummeted to the bottom of the standings. Week 8 showed signs of life, but he needs to get moving quickly before this season becomes a lost cause.
Grade: D+
Teddy KGB
Current Total: -$1,000
Winning Percentage: 0.342
Fines: $100
Wild Card Bet: Still Available
Recap: Teddy had the division lead early in the year, but then went south with the rest of the league in late September/early October. The second half of the season isn’t where he shines historically speaking, but anything can happen if he can get hot for a fortnight with a wild card bet on the shelf.
Grade: C-
The 21th Precinct
Current Total: -$200
Winning Percentage: 0.476
Fines: $0
Wild Card Bet: Still Available
Recap: The Precinct has gone up and down all season trying to get back on the positive side of $0. Week 8, a $500 win for the 2-1, brought him right back to the cusp of doing so, and suddenly he’s not too far out of the final playoff spot. The next three weeks are crucial, and could be a good spot for him to roll the dice with his wild card bet.
Grade: B-
The Beard of Zeus
Current Total: $400
Winning Percentage: 0.500
Fines: $100
Wild Card Bet: Still Available
Recap: After a lackluster beginning to the 2012 season, Zeus has been cut loose in the last two weeks, winning $1,000 total. He’s now firmly entrenched in the playoff race and should be able to make a run at the division crown if he can hit on his big bet.
Grade: B
North Division
Bayonnaise
Current Total: $400
Winning Percentage: 0.476
Fines: $0
Wild Card Bet: Still Available
Recap: The ‘Naise is certainly the most vanilla franchise in the FMFL this season, rarely doing anything other than winning $100 or losing $100. Yet, he’s avoiding what has plagued him in the past: fines and big losses. Something’s going to give one way or another. He’ll either surge toward the division leaders or fall back into the negative numbers.
Grade: B
Kimmy Gibbler
Current Total: -$800
Winning Percentage: 0.375
Fines: $0
Wild Card Bet: Still Available
Recap: Gibbler is having another disappointing season in which she can’t get anything going. If there is one franchise that needs a quick wild card bet win, Kimmy might be the leading candidate. But with a weak winning percentage and not much momentum, it looks like Kimmy is making 2012 another “what could have been” season.
Grade: D+
Larisa Oleynik
Current Total: $1,300
Winning Percentage: 0.588
Fines: $0
Wild Card Bet: Week 7 – Green Bay ($800) – Won
Recap: The defending champ of the North, Larisa is back on top at the midway point of the season. She’s had a few small bumps in the road, but a big Week 7 put her back where she ended the 2011 season. The competition looks to be stiffer this year, so Larisa might not be able to coast the final month of the season.
Grade: A-
Ron Mexico
Current Total: $400
Winning Percentage: 0.471
Fines: $100
Wild Card Bet: Week 7 – Green Bay ($800) – Won
Recap: Ron is one franchise that seems to change his course each week. Some weeks, he’s winning $500 when no one else in the league can even register a W. Other weeks, he’s sinking back down toward the middle of the pack. A wild card win has him sitting at +$400, which is not a bad place to be right now, especially with a 0.471 winning percentage in the first half of the year.
Grade: B-
The Phoenix
Current Total: -$1,900
Winning Percentage: 0.357
Fines: $800
Wild Card Bet: Still Available
Recap: Oh, The Phoenix. Things started off promising, but he fell back into his old ways, especially with no bets in Week 8 and a fine of $600. There’s clearly time for him to get back into the game, but time has told us that The Phoenix will attempt to get out of the league’s cellar, but it probably won’t be more than a blip on the radar screen.
Grade: F
Waldo Geraldo Faldo
Current Total: $200
Winning Percentage: 0.568
Fines: $700
Wild Card Bet: Week 8 – NY Giants ($800) – Won
Recap: Waldo has flexed his betting muscles at times during this season, and winning 56% of his bets is a clear sign of that. But not betting in Week 7, and racking up a late bet fine in another week have held him back from being a serious contender thus far. WGF won his wild card bet in Week 8, which positions him well for a playoff push. But at this point, can he keep it together mentally to get through all 17 weeks of the season?
Grade: C+
Yaz
Current Total: $800
Winning Percentage: 0.605
Fines: $100
Wild Card Bet: Still Available
Recap: Yaz has hinted a few times in the first half of the year that he might fade into the background only to surge back up into the division race. With a solid 0.605 winning percentage, the rest of the North should take notice that he’ll be a threat to the divisional crown when all is said and done this season.
Grade: A-
South Division
Babe
Current Total: -$500
Winning Percentage: 0.421
Fines: $0
Wild Card Bet: Week 4 – New England ($800) – Won
Recap: Another franchise that was feared at the beginning of the 2012 season has been reduced to somewhat of a laughingstock eight weeks in. Some reports say that Babe hasn’t been able to focus on the Funny Money because he’s been watching Game of Thrones episodes over and over on Sundays instead of watching football. Either way, his wild card bet is gone and only a super-hot streak can get him back into relevancy.
Grade: C-
Don Mattingly
Current Total: $900
Winning Percentage: 0.574
Fines: $0
Wild Card Bet: Still Available
Recap: Don is another two-headed franchise, with the second partner coming on-board in 2011. As it has been noted before, Mattingly was a historical failure until this second mind came into the fold, and from that point on Donnie has been a modest success. He must like his position right now, with a firm grasp on a playoff spot and an outside shot at the division (with a wild card bet still in his pocket). Mattingly came on strong in December last season, and will need to replicate that performance yet again if he wants a shot at a money prize in the regular season.
Grade: A-
Mr. Marbles
Current Total: -$800
Winning Percentage: 0.375
Fines: $0
Wild Card Bet: Still Available
Recap: An original member of the Funny Money back in 2007, Marbles has always managed to be around the final playoff spot when Christmas rolled around. This season, however, he’s dug himself into a deep hole, and might need to win his wild card bet soon to dig himself out. There is plenty of room for improvement given the 0.375 winning percentage thus far, but the clock is ticking.
Grade: D
Rick Moranis
Current Total: -$1,400
Winning Percentage: 0.286
Fines: $0
Wild Card Bet: Still Available
Recap: Rick’s laissez-faire approach to the league has worked occasionally in the past, but 2012 looks like another season where the breaks aren’t going his way. He’s been hanging around the basement of the South division for a good amount of the season and can only hope that a big wild card win, couple with a few bets on the Chiefs could propel him back into the scene.
Grade: D-
T-Ferg
Current Total: -$500
Winning Percentage: 0.432
Fines: $100
Wild Card Bet: Week 7 – Green Bay ($800) – Won
Recap: T-Ferg won his wild card bet in Week 7, but still, much like Babe, hasn’t been able to get over the hump this season. He’s another franchise that we will know a lot more about in the next few weeks, but chances are he’ll be a dark horse to make the playoffs.
Grade: C-
The Notorious A.B.T.
Current Total: -$600
Winning Percentage: 0.391
Fines: $0
Wild Card Bet: Still Available
Recap: 2012 has been rough on Notorious, as he can’t seem to differentiate himself from the rest of the downtrodden South Division. The A.B.T. has been winning a paltry 39% of his bets, but still has his wild card bet on the shelf. He’ll have to make it count in order to even sniff the playoffs.
Grade: C-
Will Cover
Current Total: $2,000
Winning Percentage: 0.700
Fines: $0
Wild Card Bet: Still Available
Recap: No one has been hotter after eight weeks than will. No fines thus far, hitting on 70% of his bets, and still with his wild card bet available. He has a $600 cushion on the rest of the league and a $1,100 on his division (which right now only has one other true contender). WC picked up where he left off last season, and now he’ll need to repeat his performance in the second half of 2011, when he kept the rest of the South at bay down the stretch.
Grade: A
West Division
Art Schlichter
Current Total: -$1,300
Winning Percentage: 0.324
Fines: $0
Wild Card Bet: Still Available
Recap: Art showed promised out of the gate this season, but then fell apart as the rest of the league was ravaged by a few tough weeks in early October. On the bright side, he could still turn things around if he comes through with a $1,000 wild card weekend, but the outlook is grim right now. His 0.324 winning percentage is among the worst in the league this season.
Grade: D
Blossom Russo
Current Total: $1,300
Winning Percentage: 0.636
Fines: $100
Wild Card Bet: Still Available
Recap: Blossom is back, as she is the first half leader in the West. She shrugged off a mediocre start to the season, and has been riding a hot hand for the last month. One wonders if she is again purchasing her bets from a sketchy internet site that guarantees “100% winners!” For now, she’s in the hunt for the overall title, and is another FMFL veteran that has been there before.
Grade: A-
Bud Fox
Current Total: -$1,000
Winning Percentage: 0.318
Fines: $0
Wild Card Bet: Still Available
Recap: Sophomore slump? Bud Fox shocked the fake gambling world last year when he rolled to a division title in his debut performance in the Funny Money. 2012 has been a completely different story, with Foxy struggling to put together a winning week. He’ll look to finish a little stronger than he started to at least prove that 2011 wasn’t just a fluke.
Grade: D+
Face
Current Total: $200
Winning Percentage: 0.600
Fines: $200
Wild Card Bet: Still Available
Recap: There was a decent amount of hype surrounding Face when he joined the FMFL, as many had heard the legend of his betting prowess. When he failed to impress last season, it lit a fire under him going into 2012. He was angry – like an old man trying to send back soup in a deli – and he has channeled that anger into powering though a tough first half to be on the brink of the playoff picture. If he can cut out the fines in the second half, he’ll be someone Blossom should keep her eye down the stretch.
Grade: B
Kenny Powers
Current Total: -$400
Winning Percentage: 0.382
Fines: $100
Wild Card Bet: Week 5 – Chicago ($800) – Won
Recap: Kenny has made some bold moves so far this season, winning his wild card bet and putting himself into contention at several points during the first half. However, it seems as though each time he makes a move, the next week he takes two steps back. Some have ventured to guess that having his sister, Blossom Russo, as the division leader has been a constant distraction that’s been holding him back.
Grade: C
Kiko Garcia
Current Total: -$200
Winning Percentage: 0.455
Fines: $0
Wild Card Bet: Still Available
Recap: Kiko seems to be just a hair off this year. He’s been in the postseason conversation, but is just missing out on being seen as a true contender. The optimist would say that he’s still one good week away from being a playoff franchise. Garcia’s wild card bet will the turning point of the season – one way or another.
Grade: C+
The People’s Champ
Current Total: -$1,000
Winning Percentage: 0.406
Fines: $600
Wild Card Bet: Still Available
Recap: The Champ seems to have gone completely downhill since he witnessed the USA Ryder Cup collapse in September. He mysteriously missed submitting his bets one week, and hasn’t been able to cobble together much of anything in the month of October. Though he still should be feared because he is known for making late season runs, without a wild card bet win, the two-time winner TPC might have to throw in the towel for 2012.
Grade: D+
The Top Ten: Week 9
Commentary: One wild card bet was won in Week 8, with Waldo Geraldo Faldo cashing in on the big Giants win. The league’s perfect record on wild card bets is still intact. For the first time this season, the top four members of The Top Ten didn’t change position at all, and all ten franchises from last week stayed in this week’s edition of The Top Ten. Also of note, three of the defending division champions from last season – Will Cover, Karl Farbman, and Larisa Oleynik – are currently leading their divisions again.
(current total; last week’s rank)
1. Will Cover ($2,000; 1)
Will keeps on chugging, winning another $100 and staying out in front of the rest of the league. He currently has a $600 lead for the overall title and a $1,100 lead for the division crown.
2. Karl Farbman ($1,400; 2)
Farbman won $100 in Week 8 as well, and keeps his lead in the East, though it did shrink slightly. He’s now $600 ahead of the rest of the division as we head into the second half of the season.
3. Larisa Oleynik ($1,300; 3)
Larisa remains on top in the North, where she now enjoys a $500 lead on the other franchises. The North has by far been the most competitive division thus far, with several worthy competitors within shouting distance of Larisa’s lead.
4. Blossom Russo ($1,300; 4)
The West is still led by Blossom, as she enjoyed an “almost” perfect week. She won all three of her bets, but a late fine kept her from the full $500. The good news is that Russo has a comfortable $1,100 lead on the rest of the division.
5. Yaz ($800; 9)
Yaz’s roller coaster first half continues, as he won $500 to jump back into second place in the North. It’s been win $500, lose $500, win $500 the last few weeks, but if he can keep moving in a positive direction this week, he can make a run at the division lead.
6. Don Mattingly ($900; 6)
The Donald won $300 and is in prime position for the playoffs, enjoying first wild card position. He’s $1,100 behind Will Cover, but $500 ahead of the final playoff berth. Donnie still has his wild card bet available, so the second half balancing act of going for the division and staying in playoff contention will shape his decision.
7. Gordon Bombay ($800; 7)
Gordon won $300 and crept closer to the division lead in the East, and if the season ended today, he’d be in the playoffs.
8. The Beard of Zeus ($400; 10)
The Beard is surging at the moment, winning $500 each of the last two weeks. He’s within $1,000 of the division lead, and more importantly bounced back from a slow start to be in solid position for the postseason.
9. Bayonnaise ($400; 8 )
Another week, another $100 for Bayonnaise. His first half performance hasn’t been anything glamorous, but you can’t argue with the results. He currently owns the final playoff spot.
10. Ron Mexico ($400; 5)
Ron can’t seem to maintain any consistency from week-to-week. He lost $500 and went from second place in the North to being on the outside of the playoff bubble.
Others receiving votes: Waldo Geraldo Faldo; Face; The 21th Precinct
Dropped out: None
Week 9 Standings
East
| Karl Farbman | $1,400 |
| Gordon Bombay | $800 |
| The Beard of Zeus | $400 |
| The 21th Precinct | -$200 |
| Boss Hardigan | -$700 |
| Teddy KGB | -$1,000 |
| Mr. DeBlasis | -$1,100 |
North
| Larisa Oleynik | $1,300 |
| Yaz | $800 |
| Bayonnaise | $400 |
| Ron Mexico | $400 |
| Waldo Geraldo Faldo | $200 |
| Kimmy Gibbler | -$800 |
| The Phoenix | -$1,900 |
South
| Will Cover | $2,000 |
| Don Mattingly | $900 |
| T-Ferg | -$500 |
| Babe | -$500 |
| The Notorious A.B.T. | -$600 |
| Mr. Marbles | -$800 |
| Rick Moranis | -$1,400 |
West
| Blossom Russo | $1,300 |
| Face | $200 |
| Kiko Garcia | -$200 |
| Kenny Powers | -$400 |
| The People’s Champ | -$1,000 |
| Bud Fox | -$1,000 |
| Art Schlichter | -$1,300 |
Overall Leader
| Will Cover | $2,000 |
| Karl Farbman | $1,400 |
| Blossom Russo | $1,300 |
| Larisa Oleynik | $1,300 |
| Don Mattingly | $900 |
Wild Card Standings
| Don Mattingly | $900 |
| Gordon Bombay | $800 |
| Yaz | $800 |
| The Beard of Zeus | $400 |
| Bayonnaise | $400 |
—————————————–
| Ron Mexico | $400 |
| Face | $200 |
| Waldo Geraldo Faldo | $200 |
| The 21th Precinct | -$200 |
| Kiko Garcia | -$200 |
| Kenny Powers | -$400 |
Week 8 Picks
Week 8 Lines
Note: Bets must be placed by Saturday night at midnight in order to be considered on time.
The Top Ten: Week 8
Commentary: The 2012 FMFL continued to take shape in Week 7, as four franchises placed wild card bets. All four won, with three wagering on Green Bay, and one on Pittsburgh. Three of the four are mentioned in The Top Ten, with T-Ferg the only one who didn’t make it, but he’s on the cusp. It’s worth noting that six franchises have used wild card bets, and all six have won thus far. There are 22 left with 10 weeks to go.
A few of the division leads have increased, and now the majority of the franchises are hovering around -$200 or so. A handful of franchises have fallen way back, but we’re only halfway through a long season.
(current total; last week’s rank)
1. Will Cover ($1,900; 1)
Will keeps on rolling with another $500 week. He still maintains his top spot, with a $600 lead on the rest of the league. His lead in the South is now $1,300.
2. Karl Farbman ($1,300; 5)
Karl rolled the dice and won his wild card bet, netting $1,000 for the week. Farbman stretched his lead in the East to $800 over the rest, and now is a bit closer to being in the running for the overall title.
3. Larisa Oleynik ($1,200; 6)
Larisa joined the wild card party as well, as she won both her bets and picked up a grand in Week 7. She’s now in the lead in the North, which is yet another sign that the historically successfully franchises have started to rise to the top in the FMFL.
4. Blossom Russo ($900; 4)
No wild card, no shirt, no shoes, no problem for Blossom. She won $500 and extended her lead in the West. Russo is $1,000 above the rest of her putrid division, as she’s the only franchise right now on the positive side of $0.
5. Ron Mexico ($900; NR)
Ronnie went from -$100 to $900 in two easy bets, winning his wild card and booming back into relevance in the North Division. Though he still trails Larisa, Mexico has broken away from the rest of the pack. However, he was here a few weeks ago, and will need to be consistent the rest of the way.
6. Don Mattingly ($600; 2)
Donnie was one of the few franchises to struggle in Week 7, dropping $300 and falling even more behind Will Cover. However, on the positive side, he has a firm grasp on a playoff spot and still has his wild card bet available.
7. Gordon Bombay ($500; 10)
In a week when Farbman could’ve completely broken away from the East, Bombay won $500 and stayed close, trailing Karl by $800. He’s in playoff position right now, but the next three weeks are crucial if he wants a shot at the overall title.
8. Bayonnaise ($300; 7)
Another week goes by, and Bayonnaise continues to tread water in the North. He’s still in the positive, and still sitting in a favorable spot. Now the game for him might be picking a week to get hot, place his wild card bet, and make a run at the division.
9. Yaz ($300; 3)
Yaz went from first in the division to trailing the leader by $900, as he lost $500 and had two pass him with big wild card bets. If you’re a glass half full type, at least he got his bets in on time this week?
10. The Beard of Zeus (-$100; NR)
It’s rare that we would allow someone with negative money into the fraternity that is The Top Ten this late in the season. But The Beard sneaks in, as a $500 week has him on the doorstep of the playoffs.
Others receiving votes: T-Ferg; Face; Kenny Powers
Dropped out: Kenny Powers; Face
Week 8 Standings
East
| Karl Farbman | $1,300 |
| Gordon Bombay | $500 |
| The Beard of Zeus | -$100 |
| Teddy KGB | -$500 |
| The 21th Precinct | -$700 |
| Boss Hardigan | -$1,200 |
| Mr. DeBlasis | -$1,600 |
North
| Larisa Oleynik | $1,200 |
| Ron Mexico | $900 |
| Yaz | $300 |
| Bayonnaise | $300 |
| Kimmy Gibbler | -$300 |
| Waldo Geraldo Faldo | -$800 |
| The Phoenix | -$1,300 |
South
| Will Cover | $1,900 |
| Don Mattingly | $600 |
| T-Ferg | -$200 |
| The Notorious A.B.T. | -$300 |
| Babe | -$1,000 |
| Rick Moranis | -$1,300 |
| Mr. Marbles | -$1,300 |
West
| Blossom Russo | $900 |
| Face | -$100 |
| Kenny Powers | -$200 |
| Kiko Garcia | -$300 |
| Bud Fox | -$900 |
| The People’s Champ | -$1,100 |
| Art Schlichter | -$1,400 |
Week 7 Picks
Week 7 Lines
Note: Bets must be placed by Saturday night at midnight in order to be considered on time.
