Week 2 Lines
Note: Bets must be placed by Saturday night at midnight in order to be considered on time.
The Top Ten: Week 2
Commentary: Well….we’re back. Kind of. A brutal week for the league, as 12 of the 28 franchises failed to notch a win. Covers by San Diego, Oakland, and the NY Jets doomed a large percentage of the FMFL. An especially bad week for Babe, who because of his late bets, starts the season down $600. Two franchises were perfect, and they lead the way. Though it’s still early in the year and there is plenty of time to catch up, all those who lost $500 or more cannot afford a winless Week 2.
1. Larisa Oleynik ($500)
The always dangerous Larisa starts off hot, winning both of her bets and tied for the East and Overall leads. The divisional competition is stiff, and many pundits believe that the East champion will be the regular season champ as well.
2. Ron Mexico ($500)
Ronnie rode San Diego’s big Monday night lead and hung on for a perfect week. He’s keeping up with Larisa and has shown in the past that he has what it takes to go toe-to-toe for the long run.
3. Waldo Geraldo Faldo ($200)
Waldo has always chosen the strategy of wager on a lot of games. The results have been mixed, but in Week 1, he won two games, lost one, and pushed one. It’s enough for the lead in the West. Only 16 weeks to go.
4. Kimmy Gibbler ($100)
In a blast from the past, Kimmy is relevant again. She leads the South after a tough first week of the season. Kimmy is the only franchise in the positive in the South.
5. Face ($100)
Face looks to be one of the clear favorites in the West, and he was a Eli Manning chokefest away from perfect week. He trails Waldo by a mere $100.
6. Will Cover (-$100)
With much of the rest of the field bunched together, Will is one name that is to be feared. Look for him to break out in Week 2 (no pressure, Will).
7. Gordon Bombay (-$100)
Gordon is the target of the rest of the stacked East Division, as his failure to draft put together this collection of gambling powerhouses. So far, Gordie has cut out the noise and is tied for third place in the East.
8. Karl Farbman (-$100)
A former champion coming off a disappointing 2012 campaign, Farbman has the potential to be a true contender. However, digging himself a $600 hole to start the season won’t help him.
9. Bud Fox (-$100)
Since he came into the league, Bud has always been in the playoff hunt. He remains near the top of the league with a ho-hum week.
10. Art Schlichter (-$100)
The putrid North Division almost failed to have a franchise in The Top Ten, but Art makes it this week. He’s tied for the division lead with Mr. Marbles, but so far in the North, there are no winners.
Also receiving votes: Mr. Marbles; Teddy KGB; Kiko Garcia
Week 2 Standings
Week 1 Results
Week 1 Picks
Week 1 Lines
Note: Bets must be placed by midnight on Saturday night in order to be considered on time.
Week 1 Standings
Welcome to 2013 from Bayonnaise
(Editor’s note: The 2012 winner, Bayonnaise, has graciously contributed some wisdom as we kick off the 2013 season. His message is below.)
I’d like to start by wishing a happy 30th birthday to our very own Rick Moranis…he just keeps getting younger and younger…I just don’t know how he pulls it off.
Gentlemen of Funny Money – as we approach Labor Day and the official end of summer, the days grow shorter and perhaps a bit cooler, delicious fall-edition beers beckon to us from behind the glass at your favorite convenient store, and the NFL preseason hype is at its peak. Most importantly, the thrill of a fresh Funny Money season is now upon us.
I’d like to offer up some tried and true advice on betting habits that just might lead you to the championship season that we can all envision ourselves achieving right now. Here are my five tips on what matters, and what matters not with respect to your pre-bet ritual:
1.) Betting day breakfast
If you are the “eh, I don’t really eat breakfast, I’m good with coffee” type, then you’re doing yourself a huge disservice. Betting without any food in the stomach can lead to irrational, spur-of-the-moment bets. Too much coffee can also lead to excess excitement over a Russell Wilson or RGIII highlight from the previous week, which have been known to alter betting behavior.
Matters
2.) Wearing your “good luck” jersey/socks/whatever flavor applies to you:
I’ve gone several weeks without washing my favorite jersey after a $500 week (it might not be a coincidence that I was single at the time) only to see a poor betting performance AND my favorite team lose. Don’t worry about your game-watching garb, and don’t hide from Tide.
Doesn’t matter
3.) NFL analyst predictions:
I would be embarrassed to admit how many times I’ve let the prediction of a Mark Schlereth-type overrule my gut-feeling on the possible outcome of a game. Yes, I know, they deliver their opinions with such conviction! Skip all the TV analyst banter. You’ll have the added bonus of freeing up some space on the DVR without needing to record all those NFL Live episodes that you’ll never watch.
Don’t matter
4.) Opinions of your buddies, or that guy in the office with whom you only talk about sports:
Same concept. The favorite team bias comes into play here, as does something they knew about a team 3 weeks ago, which ends up being irrelevant for the current week’s game. Or worse….they may have been brainwashed by an analyst while eating their corn flakes.
Don’t matter
And finally, perhaps the single largest offender that has a detrimental effect on betting success, unbeknownst to the innocent football-watching male in our society….is:
5.) Letting your wife/girlfriend monopolize time that you know should be spent re-connecting with your inner betting genius:
“Honey, sweetie, let’s take the dog out to the park!”
“Honey, can you fix the door on the back porch today? “
Just like that. Precious minutes of your Saturday (if you’re like me and wait until the day bets are due) STOLEN from you when you need to be focusing on what’s ultimately most important in life – your Funny Money bets. Let’s face it – what’s more valuable – some lovey-dovey time at the park or time spent doing your OWN prep work and learning that a red-hot Andrew Luck is going up against a Swiss cheese secondary on Sunday…leading you to cash in and cruise into the week-long sweet aftertaste of victory. I think you know the answer.
Matters
My hope is that you all have gained an insight or two to take with you into this brand new season. I wish you all the best luck, with the exception of those in my division, and we’ll see ya on the weekly standings.
Yours truly,
Bayonnaise
