Week 1 Lines
Note: Bets must be placed by Saturday night at midnight in order to be considered on time.
Week 1 Standings
Welcome to the 2024 Season from Tony Montana
(Editor’s note: The 2023 winner, Tony Montana, has shared some words of wisdom as we kick off the 2024 season. His message is below.)
February 11, 2024. Super Bowl LVIII. 8 seconds left in OT, Biff Tannen’s Niners up by 3, Tony Montana’s Chiefs on the 3 yard line. Mecole Hardman goes in motion, splits back out wide, ball is snapped, Kelce screens the defender, Mahomes rolls out, easy pass and catch, ballgame.
And another champion is crowned, a new name etched into eternity on The Champion’s Plaque.
But that was last year. Old news. A new season begins.
I don’t know what to say, really. This week starts the biggest battle of our Funny Money lives. All comes down to this year. Inch by inch, play by play, pick by pick. Until we’re finished. You know, when you get old, in life, things get taken from you. I mean, that’s… that’s… that’s a part of life. But, you only learn that when you start losin’ stuff. You find out life’s this game of inches, so is Funny Money Football. Because in either game the margin for error is so small. I mean, one half point too many or one half point too few, you lose a bet. One half second too slow, $100 Funny Money fine. The inches we need are everywhere around us. They’re in every break of the game, every talking head’s game prediction, every online tip, every FanDuel parlay. In this league we fight for that inch. In this league we tear ourselves and everyone else around us to pieces for that inch. We claw with our fingernails for that inch. Because we know when we add up all those inches, that’s gonna make the difference between winning and losing! Between living and dying! That’s the league, ladies and gentlemen. That’s Funny Money Football, that’s all it is. Now, what are you gonna do?
Tony Montana
“I always tell the truth. Even when I lie.”
