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Funny Money Power Rankings – Week 5

The league feasted on the Vegas lines in Week 5: Seven franchises won $500, and for the first time this season no team lost $500. Thus, the Power Rankings only shifted slightly this week, but the divisional races are heating up. And as the weeks pass, the wild card bets (sans Chris B. Corey) remain on the shelf. Who will pull the trigger first? Also, if last season was any guide, a week of feasting for the league usually was shortly followed by a week of famine.

Here are your updated power rankings:

Biggest rise: Teddy KGB: was 14, now 9; The Phoenix: was 19, now 14
Biggest drop: Boss Hardigan: was 3, now 6; Brian Piccolo: was 10, now 13; The 21th Precinct: was 12, now 15

(Last week’s rank; Current total)

1. The People’s Champ (1; $1,400)

His perfect season came to an end, but only lost $100. Don’t look now, but the league is nipping at his heels….

2. Gordon Bombay (2; $1.400)

Bombay continues to rise – could he take over in Week 5?

3. Kimmy Gibbler (5; $1,200)

I never thought I’d say this: Kimmy Gibbler is hot. Not the sitcom character, though. The Funny Money franchise. Another perfect week put her in prime position.

4. Thunder Lips (7; $1,000)

The much-talked about “system” works again. Four games bet, four wins. You don’t want to mess with the Thunder Lips right now.

5. Mr. Marbles (4; $800)

Hanging around, for now, but has to deal with both Bombay and Thunder in his division.

6. Boss Hardigan (3; $1,000)

Another week comes, another week goes with Hardigan making a slight increase. He’s still looking for momentum.

7. Karl Farbman (6; $700)

Keeps pace with Hardigan, but still hasn’t done much since a $500 Week 1.

8. Bayonnaise (8; $700)

The roller coaster ride continues – Bayonnaise wins $500 and gets back into the playoff picture.

9. Teddy KGB (14; $400)

Speaking of ups and downs, KGB rebounds from a few bad weeks to get back on the positive side of the chip count.

10. Waldo Geraldo Faldo (9; $400)

Don’t count him out in the West. Also, don’t eat his onion rings.

11. Blossom Russo (13; $200)

In my opinionation, the sun is gonna surely shine. Blossom takes over first in the East!

12. Babe (11; $200)

Oh Babe, you lead in the East is gone.

13. Brian Piccolo (10; $0)

After four weeks, he’s back to square one. Wild card time?

14. The Phoenix (19; -$200)

When he makes his bets on time, the Phoenix is hard to beat. But so far, he’s only done that half the time.

15. The 21th Precinct (12; $-200)

Falling behind out West.

16. Chris B. Corey (20; -$500)

Is Chris back? A $500 week has him inching back closer to even money. He needs another big week before any one else starts to notice him and his Prada handbag.

17. Mr. DeBlasis (15; $-400)

Went into his shell and bet a five-teamer. I smell a wild card bet in Week 5.

18. Bummy (16; -$600)

When the Phoenix passes you in the standings, you know you’re on the wrong track.

19. Rick Moranis (17; -$800)

Step by step, Moranis might be the most dangerous cellar dweller in the league.

20. The Beard of Zeus (18; -$1,000)

Has proven nothing so far this year, other than he needs to “lock it up.”

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