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THE POSTSEASON REPORT

EAST DIVISION

Blossom Russo

Blossom led his division for the majority of the season, pulling away weeks ago and making the last leg of the year an easy road to the East crown. However, he led the overall title by $700 with one week to play and let his guard down. Poor strategy down the stretch (and a late picks fine two weeks ago) cost him the big prize. He’ll still be heading to the playoffs, but it could have been a lot more profitable.

Total: $3,300 Winning %: 0.637 Total Fines: $100
Grade: B-

Bummy

In the second half of the year Bummy did an excellent job of hanging around while the rest of the league went into the tank. That being said, he never could put together a $500 week down the stretch. His opportunity for the playoffs might not have panned out, but overall he had a good rookie season.

Total: $300 Winning %: 0.489 Total Fines: $100
Grade: B

Babe

Faltering down the stretch, Babe’s final total doesn’t do justice to the fact that he was on the cusp of the playoffs just five short weeks ago. He lost his wild card bet in Week 8, and never fully recovered. He looks to be a factor for next season.

Total: -$1,400 Winning %: 0.463 Total Fines: $200
Grade: C

The Beard of Zeus

The Beard got off to a rough start, but then surged in the second half of the year. A few bounces didn’t go his way and prevented him for gaining any real momentum down the stretch. Lack of interest kept him from betting in the final week of the season, which dropped him to over two-thousand bucks in the hole.

Total: -$2,200 Winning %: 0.368 Total Fines: $800
Grade: C-

The Phoenix

When The Phoenix actually placed bets, he did pretty well. But missing out on a few weeks of wagers and constantly betting late put him in a huge hole that he could never get out of. In the last week of the season, he passed Rick Moranis and gained the glorious title of last place in the Funny Money Football League.

Total: -$3,200 Winning %: 0.519 Total Fines: $2,900
Grade: F

NORTH DIVISION

Gordon Bombay

Made good, consistent picks all season long. Bombay might as well bet real money, considering his record from last season and this season combined. He varied his betting style from week to week, and did a masterful job in Week 17 of correctly betting his wild card in order to protect himself from being passed in the division while going for the overall title. He made up a $700 deficit in the final week, which has Bombay rolling into the playoffs.

Total: $3,500 Winning %: 0.627 Total Fines: $200
Grade: A

Mr. Marbles

In one of the other divisions, Mr. Marbles would have been a leader or close to the lead all season long. But as the luck of the draw would have it, he trailed Bombay for most of the season and took a shot at the division crown in the final week, betting obscure games, knowing his postseason spot was secure. Marbles accrued no fine money, and beefed up his winning percentage in the second half of the year.

Total: $1,800 Winning %: 0.557 Total Fines: $0
Grade: A-

Chris B. Corey

Chris was the first franchise this season to bet his wild card, tanking $800 on Cincinnati in Week 2. This put him behind early, but to his credit, he hung around all season, falling behind, but not to far, then turning it on with four weeks to go. In the last two weeks, he won $500 each week, and ended up just $100 out of the playoffs. A job well done.

Total: $1,000 Winning %: 0.590 Total Fines: $0
Grade: B+

Teddy KGB

From the beginning of the year, Teddy KGB had a strategy: bet two games each week. No more. No less. He caught fire around the midseason point, leading the wild card race, and even challenging for the division. But in the last five weeks of the season, of the ten games he bet, nine were wrong. Hopefully this will be a lesson for him in future seasons. Aggressiveness is good, but switching up betting styles can prevent a funk like the one he suffered.

Total: $100 Winning %: 0.471 Total Fines: $100
Grade: C+

Thunder Lips

Likewise, Thunder Lips had a strategy. He bet a ton of games in the first part of the season, and his winning percentage was through the roof. With four weeks to go, he seemed primed for the playoffs. But, down the stretch, he couldn’t put together a good week, and he didn’t even bet in Weeks 15 and 17. Also, he left his wild card bet on the shelf. Thunder Lips, the league thanks you for your donation.

Total: -$300 Winning %: 0.640 Total Fines: $2,000
Grade: D+

SOUTH DIVISION

Kimmy Gibbler

The second half Funny Money blues had no effect on Gibbler, who managed to eke out positive weeks time and time again. As the season wore on, it seemed the more games he bet, the better he did. With a solid winning percentage and two years of FMFL experience, Gibbler roars into the playoffs.

Total: $2,000 Winning %: 0.623 Total Fines: $200
Grade: A

The People’s Champ

Always one who enjoys last-minute heroics, The People’s Champ waited until Week 17 to bet his wild card. New England came through for him, and he jumped over a few unsuspecting franchises to grab a postseason berth. If not for a few poor weeks in November and December, the Champ would’ve been a threat to Gibbler for the division title.

Total: $1,200 Winning %: 0.583 Total Fines: $300
Grade: B+

Mr. DeBlasis

With two weeks to go, Mr. DeBlasis knew he needed to be nearly perfect to make the playoffs. He was perfect one of the weeks, but lost $500 the other week. He was another franchise who could’ve done a better job of surviving the slim weeks in November, but to his credit, DeBlasis finished strong and gave himself a chance at the playoffs if teams above him faltered.

Total: $400 Winning %: 0.535 Total Fines: $200
Grade: B

Bayonnaise

At times, Bayonnaise looked like one of the toughest franchises in the leagues. At other times, he looked like one of the weakest. In Week 17, he didn’t place any bets, which knocked him out of having any chance of making the playoffs. Fines didn’t hurt him as much as last season, but the breaks never seemed to go his way.

Total: -$500 Winning %: 0.459 Total Fines: $800
Grade: C

Rick Moranis

What can I say about Rick Moranis. He was one of only four franchises that lost his wild card. For the second year in a row, he did not have one single week when his season total was on the positive side of zero. Yet, he played out the string, and in Week 17, managed to win $100, which brought him out of the cellar. He finished second to last for the season. Get ’em next year.

Total: -$3,100 Winning %: 0.409 Total Fines: $1,000
Grade: D

WEST DIVISION

Karl Farbman

Much like The People’s Champ, Farbman waited until Week 17 to place his wild card bet. At that point, he had fallen behind for the West Division crown. But a shrewd final week put him back in first place. In the previous three weeks, he had a chance to pull away from the rest of the division, but never did. The result was dramatic Week 17.

Total: $1,500 Winning %: 0.524 Total Fines: $0
Grade: A-

The 21th Precinct

In Week 16, the Precinct bet against the Browns (a no-brainer) and took the division lead back from Karl Farbman. Although he lost the lead in the final week, the Precinct managed to get into the playoffs by the slimmest of margins. He is also the only first-year team to make the postseason in 2008. Kudos.

Total: $1,100 Winning %: 0.541 Total Fines: $0
Grade: A-

Brian Piccolo

So close, yet so far, Piccolo won $500 in Week 16, but it was too little too late. In a division that seemed to be up for grabs most of the season, he never could get a grasp on first place. He missed the playoffs by $400, which is only one or two games that he needed to go the other way.

Total: $700 Winning %: 0.512 Total Fines: $0
Grade: B+

Waldo Geraldo Faldo

Add Waldo to the list of teams that faltered in the last two months of the season. He had two brutal weeks that put him out of the running for the division. Yet, he conducted himself with great manners throughout the 2008 campaign. He will be a dangerous franchise in 2009.

Total: -$500 Winning %: 0.488 Total Fines: $200
Grade: C+

Boss Hardigan

Despite losing his wild card bet in Week 9, Boss Hardigan made a serious run at the playoffs that sputtered out in Week 14. He learned a lot in his rookie year in the FMFL, and that experience will pay off in the future.

Total: -$800 Winning %: 0.477 Total Fines: $100
Grade: C-

A SPECIAL NOTE FROM THE EXECUTIVE DIRECTOR:
Thank you to all the franchises who participated this year. As I stated last week, all franchises will receive the playoff emails. If you are not in the postseason, I encourage you to read the rules and become familiar with the format, as it may help you out in future years. Once the Super Bowl is over, I will be sending out a feedback email in which I would like you to voice any complaints/suggestions/compliments you have about the league. I will also inquire as to whether or not you will considered returning to the league next year. Tomorrow, there will be an email sent out with the Playoff Rules and the annual “Funny Money Vegas Odds” for the playoffs. This will be followed Wednesday with the regular email with the week’s official lines.

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