The Postseason Report
Gentlemen – Another regular season is in the books, and luckily the second half of the season was much kinder to the FMFL than the first half. Eight of the nine playoff franchises finished the season above $0, and a few franchises surged in the last month of the season. Here’s a look at how each franchises performed in 2013.
Disclaimer: The following is a completely biased report of the first eight weeks of the FMFL. The views, opinions, and observations that follow are those of the Executive Director and are completely subjective.
East Division
Blossom Russo
Total: -$3,600
Winning Percentage: 0.346
Fines: $100
Wild Card Bet: Week 5 – New England – Lost
Recap: A very disappointing season for Blossom, who was once one of the more feared franchises in the FMFL. She fell behind early in the season and just couldn’t put together winning weeks this year.
Grade: D-
Bud Fox
Total: -$1,400
Winning Percentage: 0.471
Fines: $0
Wild Card Bet: Week 9 – New Orleans – Lost
Recap: Bud tailed off in the second half of the season, beginning with his wild card loss, and couldn’t quite recover enough to make a playoff run in December.
Grade: C
Gordon Bombay
Total: $100
Winning Percentage: 0.487
Fines: $0
Wild Card Bet: Week 14 – Kansas City – Won
Recap: Gordon made a huge run after Thanksgiving to make the playoffs, though he might view the regular season as a missed opportunity, since he had the lead in the division with two weeks to go.
Grade: B+
Karl Farbman
Total: $300
Winning Percentage: 0.579
Fines: $0
Wild Card Bet: Week 3 – Green Bay – Lost
Recap: Karl was in a bad place earlier this year, but then had an amazing run to win the East and return to the playoffs.
Grade: A-
Larisa Oleynik
Total: -$2,500
Winning Percentage: 0.371
Fines: $100
Wild Card Bet: Week 11 – Detroit – Lost
Recap: Rumor is that there was dissention among the ranks for Larisa this year. She had some rough weeks in late October and the stumbled to the finish line, which was very uncharacteristic for one of the FMFL’s more decorated franchises.
Grade: D
Ron Mexico
Total: -$1,300
Winning Percentage: 0.422
Fines: $600
Wild Card Bet: Week 10 – Philadelphia – Won
Recap: Several times this year, Ron was on the brink of breaking away from the division, but it never seemed to work out. He was another East franchise that had the division lead in December, yet faltered the last three weeks.
Grade: C+
Yaz
Total: -$2,400
Winning Percentage: 0.397
Fines: $200
Wild Card Bet: Week 2 – Indianapolis – Lost
Recap: There were signs of life from Yaz after a brutal start to the season, but a December slump left him out of the postseason this year.
Grade: D+
North Division
Art Schlichter
Total: -$900
Winning Percentage: 0.438
Fines: $600
Wild Card Bet: Week 8 – Green Bay – Won
Recap: Art just barely missed the postseason after being in decent position for most of the year. He was a mere win or two away from the playoffs.
Grade: C
Bayonnaise
Total: $300
Winning Percentage: 0.567
Fines: $100
Wild Card Bet: Did Not Use
Recap: For the second straight year, Bayonnaise won his division. The defending champ didn’t even need to use his wild card bet. Though he never truly challenged for the overall title, he consistently grinded out positive money throughout the year.
Grade: A-
Boss Hardigan
Total: -$3,200
Winning Percentage: 0.333
Fines: $0
Wild Card Bet: Week 17 – Baltimore – Lost
Recap: 2013 was not kind to the Boss, whose winning percentage was amongst the worst in the league. He had a brief hot streak, but couldn’t maintain when it came down to it.
Grade: D-
Don Mattingly
Total: -$2,400
Winning Percentage: 0.375
Fines: $0
Wild Card Bet: Week 10 – San Francisco – Lost
Recap: Don was another franchise that couldn’t overcome a crippling start to the season. He did his best to become relevant again, but after the San Fran wild card loss, that was all she wrote.
Grade: C
Mr. Marbles
Total: -$800
Winning Percentage: 0.415
Fines: $0
Wild Card Bet: Week 11 – Philadelphia – Won
Recap: Marbles had a solid December, and just missed out on making the playoffs, despite having a weak winning percentage all season long.
Grade: B-
The Big Hurt
Total: -$3,800
Winning Percentage: 0.359
Fines: $300
Wild Card Bet: Week 10 – Dallas – Lost
Recap: The second half of the season seemed to wear down the rookie Big Hurt, who repeatedly bet against Drew Brees at home and paid for it. Next season is a clean slate.
Grade: D-
The Phoenix
Total: $100
Winning Percentage: 0.468
Fines: $0
Wild Card Bet: Week 6 – Dallas – Won
Recap: What a year for The Phoenix. He just missed out on winning the North title, and will go to the playoffs for the first time in his six year Funny Money career.
Grade: A-
South Division
Babe
Total: -$4,000
Winning Percentage: 0.329
Fines: $200
Wild Card Bet: Week 7 – Tennessee – Lost
Recap: For a few weeks, Babe was threatening to break the record for worst season in FMFL history. He did enough to avoid infamy, but 2013 was a complete failure for Babe, as far as Funny Money goes.
Grade: F
Kiko Garcia
Total: $200
Winning Percentage: 0.560
Fines: $0
Wild Card Bet: Week 17 – Tennessee – Lost
Recap: Kiko will be in the playoffs again this year, and his final total doesn’t tell the story. He was the only franchise challenging for the overall title down the stretch, but just couldn’t get the job done.
Grade: A-
Kimmy Gibbler
Total: $2,000
Winning Percentage: 0.628
Fines: $0
Wild Card Bet: Week 7 – Tennessee – Lost
Recap: At the midpoint of the season, Kimmy was -$900 and had just lost her wild card bet. She was nearly flawless in the second half, and ran away with the division and overall title, only having to hold off the aforementioned Kiko in the final week.
Grade: A
Rick Moranis
Total: -$700
Winning Percentage: 0.511
Fines: $0
Wild Card Bet: Week 9 – Indianapolis – Push
Recap: A wild December run and a perfect Week 17 gave Rick the final playoff spot by the slimmest of margins. He has prior postseason experience, and has a lot of momentum heading into January.
Grade: B
The 21th Precinct
Total: -$2,700
Winning Percentage: 0.344
Fines: $0
Wild Card Bet: Did Not Use
Recap: Each week, The Precinct was close to winning some cash, but something would go wrong, a call wouldn’t go his way, and he’d miss an opportunity. All in all, 2013 was rough for The 2-1.
Grade: D+
The Notorious A.B.T.
Total: -$3,300
Winning Percentage: 0.321
Fines: $0
Wild Card Bet: Week 17 – Arizona – Lost
Recap: The Notorious ABT struggled to put together two or three winners each week, which is apparent when you take a look at his winning percentage. Another year of futility for the A.B.T.
Grade: D
Will Cover
Total: $200
Winning Percentage: 0.511
Fines: $0
Wild Card Bet: Did Not Use
Recap: Much like Bayonnaise, Will consistently won money throughout the season, and weathered the ups and downs to roll into the playoffs. He has quietly been one of the best franchises the last few seasons, and should be considered a favorite in the playoffs.
Grade: B+
West Division
Face
Total: -$1,300
Winning Percentage: 0.455
Fines: $100
Wild Card Bet: Week 6 – Minnesota – Lost
Recap: Face made a mini-comeback in the second half of the year, but was never a true contender in the West this season.
Grade: B-
Kenny Powers
Total: -$1,100
Winning Percentage: 0.487
Fines: $0
Wild Card Bet: Week 3 – NY Giants – Lost
Recap: Kenny nearly made a miraculous comeback this season after starting out so poorly. He had a chance to sneak into the playoffs in Week 17, but the chips didn’t fall his way. He has some positive momentum heading into next year.
Grade: B-
T-Ferg
Total: -$4,200
Winning Percentage: 0.379
Fines: $2,400
Wild Card Bet: Week 10 – Tennessee – Lost
Recap: Fell victim to the Chris B. Corey rule with four weeks to go when he still had a chance. This grade is easy.
Grade: F
Teddy KGB
Total: $800
Winning Percentage: 0.538
Fines: $0
Wild Card Bet: Week 9 – Kansas City – Won
Recap: A huge year for Teddy, who won the West in a runaway. He turned the corner in Week 9 and never looked back. It’s his first playoff appearance since 2007.
Grade: A
The Beard of Zeus
Total: -$3,400
Winning Percentage: 0.364
Fines: $0
Wild Card Bet: Week 15 – New Orleans – Lost
Recap: The Beard looked like an elite franchise coming into the season, but 2013 was a failure for him, with the final nail in the coffin being a Week 15 wild card bet loss.
Grade: D-
The People’s Champ
Total: -$2,300
Winning Percentage: 0.389
Fines: $1,200
Wild Card Bet: Week 16 – NY Giants – Won
Recap: The Champ didn’t seem to have his head in the game this year. Take away his fines and he would have been in the thick of the things down the stretch.
Grade: C-
Waldo Geraldo Faldo
Total: -$2,700
Winning Percentage: 0.352
Fines: $600
Wild Card Bet: Week 7 – NY Giants – Won
Recap: Waldo missed bets one week, and also plummeted in December. Earlier in the year, he looked like a contender, but dropped in the standings as the year wore on.
Grade: D+
