The 2017 Midseason Report
Gentlemen – Nine weeks in the books in 2017. Last week was a B12 shot for many franchises that cashed in on their wild card bets, and overall the league is humming along. There were only a few major disaster weeks when most of the league suffered, but for the most part pitfalls were avoided and the favorites covered.
Here’s a breakdown of how the league did as a whole each week:
Week 1: -$3,900
Week 2: +$2,500
Week 3: -$2,300
Week 4: +$2,600
Week 5: +$2,500
Week 6: -$7,500
Week 7: -$3,400
Week 8: +$4,600
Week 9: +$7,700
That’s a cumulative total of +$2,800.
Disclaimer: The following is a completely biased report of the first nine weeks of the FMFL. The views, opinions, and observations that follow are those of the Executive Director and are completely subjective.
East Division
Bud Fox
Current Total: -$500
Winning Percentage: 0.464
Fines: $0
Wild Card Bet: Still Available
Recap: Bud struggled out of the gate and seems to have made a slight comeback. With the wild card bet still on the table, don’t count him out just yet.
Grade: C-
Chris B. Corey
Current Total: $800
Winning Percentage: 0.575
Fines: $0
Wild Card Bet: Still Available
Recap: CBC, now enjoying the rare air of the Pacific Northwest, is in solid position heading into the second half. He’ll have a good shot to challenge for the East Division.
Grade: B+
Face
Current Total: $1,300
Winning Percentage: 0.619
Fines: $0
Wild Card Bet: Still Available
Recap: Face has righted the ship after a few down years and boasts a strong winning percentage. He’ll be in a dogfight with The Beard of Zeus and others the last two months.
Grade: A-
Judge Smails
Current Total: $100
Winning Percentage: 0.411
Fines: $300
Wild Card Bet: Week 8 – Atlanta – Won
Recap: Smails’ inaugural spin through the FMFL did not go as he planned, but this year he has made some moves to get back above even money. If he could avoid fines in the second half, might he have a chance to get invited to the playoff dance?
Grade: C
Patrick Bateman
Current Total: $700
Winning Percentage: 0.478
Fines: $0
Wild Card Bet: Still Available
Recap: It’s been a year of big swings for Bateman who was way up, then came back down to earth and now seems to be staying within shouting distance of the division leaders.
Grade: B
The Beard of Zeus
Current Total: $1,200
Winning Percentage: 0.611
Fines: $100
Wild Card Bet: Still Available
Recap: Only $100 out of the lead in the East, The Beard is back to his winning ways. Who will blink first in this division and bet his wild card?
Grade: A-
The Big Hurt
Current Total: -$1,200
Winning Percentage: 0.407
Fines: $0
Wild Card Bet: Week 6 – Kansas City – Lost
Recap: Even TBH’s beloved Chiefs couldn’t save his season. For the next eight weeks, he will be rearranging the deck chairs on the Titanic.
Grade: D
Yaz
Current Total: -$800
Winning Percentage: 0.500
Fines: $0
Wild Card Bet: Week 1 – Pittsburgh – Lost
Recap: Yaz came out of the gate with a bold Steelers wild card bet….that was a bust. He has somehow clawed his way back, but has plenty of work to do.
Grade: D+
North Division
Babe
Current Total: -$900
Winning Percentage: 0.400
Fines: $400
Wild Card Bet: Still Available
Recap: 2017 has been filled with losses, fines, and a ho-hum performance by a storied FMFL franchises. I’m not mad, just disappointed.
Grade: D
Bayonnaise
Current Total: $600
Winning Percentage: 0.455
Fines: $0
Wild Card Bet: Week 9 – Indianapolis – Won
Recap: A week ago, this grade would have been a lot worse, but a wild card win has the ‘Naise sitting pretty. His success is due to a tip he found on the popular website “San Diego Date Ideas”: ignore all members of the opposite sex and spend all of your free time studying point spreads.
Grade: C+
Blossom Russo
Current Total: -$2,700
Winning Percentage: 0.300
Fines: $200
Wild Card Bet: Week 7 – Carolina – Lost
Recap: Come on.
Grade: F
Don Mattingly
Current Total: -$300
Winning Percentage: 0.464
Fines: $0
Wild Card Bet: Still Available
Recap: Don Mattingly lost one of his former partners (Neon Boudeaux) and the 2017 season has been a clear portrait who was the brains in that duo.
Grade: C-
Gordon Bombay
Current Total: -$1,000
Winning Percentage: 0.407
Fines: $0
Wild Card Bet: Still Available
Recap: Gordon, Gordon, what happened to this fierce FMFL titan? There’s still a long way to go, but Bombay has a lot of ground to cover to be thinking playoffs.
Grade: D+
Kimmy GIbbler
Current Total: $1,300
Winning Percentage: 0.600
Fines: $0
Wild Card Bet: Still Available
Recap: Kimmy’s 60% winning rate and solid week-to-week performance should give her a great chance at the North title.
Grade: A-
Larisa Oleynik
Current Total: $700
Winning Percentage: 0.528
Fines: $0
Wild Card Bet: Week 5 – Kansas City – Won
Recap: Larisa continues to hang around and has been in the mix many times before. She’s trailing and will be hoping for some wild card losses from the other North franchises.
Grade: B
Shecky
Current Total: $1,500
Winning Percentage: 0.636
Fines: $0
Wild Card Bet: Still Available
Recap: Some years Shecky has it, and some years he doesn’t. 2017 looks to be the former. He’s leading his division with eight weeks left.
Grade: A-
South Division
Boss Hardigan
Current Total: $2,000
Winning Percentage: 0.650
Fines: $0
Wild Card Bet: Week 8 – Minnesota – Won
Recap: The Boss continues to impress. Just when he started to regress, he came back with a huge Week 8 to put him into a tie for the division lead.
Grade: A
Chalky Studebaker
Current Total: -$1,400
Winning Percentage: 0.304
Fines: $100
Wild Card Bet: Still Available
Recap: Chalky has been a mess since Week 1 and I don’t know if there’s any hope to save his season.
Grade: D-
Karl Farbman
Current Total: -$500
Winning Percentage: 0.444
Fines: $0
Wild Card Bet: Still Available
Recap: Inconsistency has plagued Karl all year and he’s teetering on the edge of insignificance.
Grade: D+
Kiko Garcia
Current Total: -$800
Winning Percentage: 0.348
Fines: $0
Wild Card Bet: Week 9 – Indianapolis – Won
Recap: Despite such a poor winning percentage, Kiko showed signs of life with his wild card win and will have to keep that momentum going in Week 10 to force his way back into the playoff picture.
Grade: D
Neon Boudeaux
Current Total: $2,000
Winning Percentage: 0.632
Fines: $0
Wild Card Bet: Week 5 – Indianapolis – Won
Recap: A strong first half for this rookie franchise, with points deducted for asking the Executive Director if he could take a knee one week.
Grade: A-
OJ
Current Total: -$100
Winning Percentage: 0.444
Fines: $0
Wild Card Bet: Still Available
Recap: Oddly enough, the release of the real OJ back into the wild hasn’t coincided with success for the FMFL franchise. At 44%, he’s lucky to be close to even money.
Grade: C-
Thine
Current Total: -$100
Winning Percentage: 0.518
Fines: $300
Wild Card Bet: Week 6 – Baltimore – Lost
Recap: Thine blew his proverbial wad on Dem Rayvens in Week 6 and has been fined multiple times, but still finds himself within reasonable striking distance.
Grade: C-
Waldo Geraldo Faldo
Current Total: -$200
Winning Percentage: 0.520
Fines: $0
Wild Card Bet: Week 5 – NY Giants – Lost
Recap: His wild card bet is gone, but WGF can push through the rest of the pack by stringing together a few winning weeks, and I wouldn’t overlook his experience.
Grade: C-
West Division
Donnie Jeffcoat
Current Total: $600
Winning Percentage: 0.557
Fines: $0
Wild Card Bet: Still Available
Recap: The new kid on the block, Donnie has delivered in the first half and might be able to shock some of the veterans in his first season.
Grade: B+
Dr. Oge
Current Total: -$900
Winning Percentage: 0.426
Fines: $0
Wild Card Bet: Still Available
Recap: Last year’s champ is still buzzing from his perfect [postseason and has been a shadow of his former self in 2017.
Grade: D
Kenny Powers
Current Total: $1,800
Winning Percentage: 0.792
Fines: $0
Wild Card Bet: Week 6 – Atlanta – Lost
Recap: How does a franchise win nearly 80% and not be annihilating the competition? He lost his wild card bet, which is one of the only things that Kenny did wrong in the first half of the year.
Grade: A
Mr. Marbles
Current Total: -$800
Winning Percentage: 0.444
Fines: $100
Wild Card Bet: Still Available
Recap: Marbles has clawed back into relevancy and needs to cash in his wild card bet (and maybe soon), or 2017 will be a failure to launch.
Grade: D+
Rick Moranis
Current Total: $300
Winning Percentage: 0.548
Fines: $0
Wild Card Bet: Still Available
Recap: Rick’s picks have been great, but his money management has held him back. Hopefully he’s taking better care of his personal finances (aka residual checks from Little Giants).
Grade: C+
T-Ferg
Current Total: -$300
Winning Percentage: 0.391
Fines: $0
Wild Card Bet: Still Available
Recap: It’s astonishing that T-Ferg is where he is, considering how few winners he has picked thus far. A postseason berth for him would be quite a remarkable comeback if he can make it happen.
Grade: C-
The Notorious ABT
Current Total: $400
Winning Percentage: 0.500
Fines: $0
Wild Card Bet: Week 9 – Indianapolis – Won
Recap: The ABT was another benefactor in Week 9, and is in position to charge towards the playoffs.
Grade: C+
The People’s Champ
Current Total: $100
Winning Percentage: 0.407
Fines: $100
Wild Card Bet: Week 9 – Indianapolis – Won
Recap: The Champ survived a dismal first half to the Giants season to get to here, but if history is any guide, if Eli and the G-men are down, so will be The Champ.
Grade: C
