THE MIDSEASON REPORT
Gentlemen – Nine weeks are in the books, and 2019 has proven why sportsbooks rarely go bankrupt. The last six weeks have all been losing weeks for the league, highlighted by -$9,900 in Week 4, and -$7,600 in Week 9. Only five franchises are in positive money, and the final playoff spot would be -$200 if the season ended today. Luckily for most, the season doesn’t end today, so there is plenty of time to get back above $0. Or will the second half of the season be more of the same?
Here’s a breakdown of how the league did as a whole each week:
Week 1: +$300
Week 2: +$2,400
Week 3: +$1,000
Week 4: -$9,900
Week 5: -$600
Week 6: -$2,200
Week 7: -$1,200
Week 8: -$2,200
Week 9: -$7,600
That’s a cumulative total of -$21,000.
Disclaimer: The following is a completely biased report of the first nine weeks of the FMFL. The views, opinions, and observations that follow are those of the Executive Director and are completely subjective.
East Division
Chris B. Corey
Current Total: $1,300
Winning Percentage: 0.632
Fines: $0
Wild Card Bet: Still Available
Recap: Chris has had a nice run the last five weeks, notching $1,700 during five straight winning weeks, which helped him overcome an early deficit and take the lead in the East. He still has his wild card bet available and is in great position with eight weeks left.
Grade: A-
Donnie Jeffcoat
Current Total: -$2,200
Winning Percentage: 0.286
Fines: $0
Wild Card Bet: Week 4 – Kansas City – Lost
Recap: It’s been a rough year for Donnie, who can’t seem to string two weeks together. As soon as he won $500 in Week 7, he lost $500 in both Weeks 8 and 9.
Grade: D-
Karl Hungus
Current Total: -$900
Winning Percentage: 0.438
Fines: $0
Wild Card Bet: Week 4 – Kansas City – Lost
Recap: Hungus got off to a fast start the first three weeks of the season, but hasn’t been able to recover from a -$1,000 Week 4 debacle. Still, with the state of the FMFL this year, he still could get hot and challenge for the postseason.
Grade: C-
Larisa Oleynik
Current Total: -$1,000
Winning Percentage: 0.306
Fines: $0
Wild Card Bet: Week 2 – Cleveland – Won
Recap: It could be a lot worse for Larisa, who despite winning only 30% of her games, is just $800 out of the postseason. But with her wild card already gone, it will be tough sledding.
Grade: C-
Luther Lavay
Current Total: -$200
Winning Percentage: 0.571
Fines: $0
Wild Card Bet: Week 2 – Tennessee – Lost
Recap: Luther was another rookie that got off to a hot start Week 1, but then came back down to earth in Week 2. He has been clawing his way back ever since and currently holds to the final playoff spot.
Grade: C+
Patrick Bateman
Current Total: $600
Winning Percentage: 0.522
Fines: $0
Wild Card Bet: Still Available
Recap: Bateman is having a typical Bateman year – solid winning percentage despite the rest of the league floundering, and he’s in a good spot to challenge for the division and overall title. Timing of his wild card bet (and Chris B. Corey’s bet) will be crucial down the stretch.
Grade: B+
The People’s Champ
Current Total: -$100
Winning Percentage: 0.478
Fines: $0
Wild Card Bet: Still Available
Recap: The Champ was looking like the Champ of old early in the year, getting up as high as +$900 and controlling the East Division for a time. But he has dipped back down and will need to turn things around in the second half.
Grade: C+
Yaz
Current Total: -$900
Winning Percentage: 0.417
Fines: $0
Wild Card Bet: Still Available
Recap: Yaz continues to bet only two games each week, and thus far that strategy has failed him, with only one $500 week out of the first nine. The upside of betting the two-teamer is that one can make up a lot of ground quickly, but does he have that type of run in him?
Grade: C-
North Division
Blossom Russo
Current Total: -$500
Winning Percentage: 0.526
Fines: $100
Wild Card Bet: Week 9 – Green Bay – Lost
Recap: Things were going well for Blossom before Week 9. She was in great position to make a run at the North crown and was sitting pretty. But after losing $1,000, she is now on the outside looking in for the playoffs.
Grade: C
Bud Fox
Current Total: -$100
Winning Percentage: 0.520
Fines: $0
Wild Card Bet: Still Available
Recap: Bud had been steady this year with no big swings prior to losing $500 in Week 9. He’s only $200 back in the division, and with his consistent winning percentage is likely to be in the mix until the end.
Grade: C+
Kenny Powers
Current Total: -$2,000
Winning Percentage: 0.318
Fines: $0
Wild Card Bet: Week 9 – Cleveland – Lost
Recap: Kenny, Kenny, Kenny. A chance to turn his season around was dashed by the Browns in Week 9 and now he might just be playing out the string.
Grade: F
Kimmy Gibbler
Current Total: -$200
Winning Percentage: 0.464
Fines: $100
Wild Card Bet: Still Available
Recap: Kimmy has been hanging around and managing her money well, despite a lower than usual winning percentage. She could take control of the North with a wild card winner in the next few weeks.
Grade: C+
Mr. Marbles
Current Total: -$1,900
Winning Percentage: 0.278
Fines: $0
Wild Card Bet: Still Available
Recap: For the #3 franchise all-time in the FMFL, the 2019 season could prove to be either an outlier or the beginning of a downward spiral into the territory previously enjoyed each season by The Phoenix.
Grade: F
OJ
Current Total: -$2,000
Winning Percentage: 0.288
Fines: $0
Wild Card Bet: Still Available
Recap: OJ has proven to be as square as they come in 2019 – betting with the masses has him taking up permanent residency in the basement of the North.
Grade: F
T-Ferg
Current Total: -$900
Winning Percentage: 0.400
Fines: $0
Wild Card Bet: Still Available
Recap: T-Ferg is yet another franchise that has a great track record but hasn’t been able to put it together this season. And he’s another franchise that, despite his poor performance, can make a second half run.
Grade: C-
The Notorious ABT
Current Total: $100
Winning Percentage: 0.519
Fines: $0
Wild Card Bet: Still Available
Recap: It looked for a time that the ABT would pull away in the North, but he has in fact done the opposite, being dragged down with the rest of the division. With eight weeks to go, he’s in the lead and is one of five franchises on the positive side of $0, but he must be left wondering what could have been.
Grade: B-
South Division
Boss Hardigan
Current Total: -$100
Winning Percentage: 0.450
Fines: $0
Wild Card Bet: Still Available
Recap: Boss Hardigan dipped down in Week 9 after a consistent first eight weeks of the season. He’ll need to win his wild card bet and get hot to make a run at the South Division title, but a solid second half will get him an invite to the postseason dance.
Grade: C+
Karl Farbman
Current Total: $1,700
Winning Percentage: 0.587
Fines: $0
Wild Card Bet: Week 7 – Indianapolis – Won
Recap: In a return to form that hadn’t been seen the last few years in the FMFL, Karl has pulled away from the rest of the North, buoyed by a +$1,000 Week 7.
Grade: A
Kiko Garcia
Current Total: -$1,600
Winning Percentage: 0.421
Fines: $0
Wild Card Bet: Week 7 – NY Giants – Lost
Recap: Kiko is the first back-to-back champion in Funny Money history, and this season is proving how tall a task it is to perform at the highest level year in and year out.
Grade: D
Neon Boudeaux
Current Total: -$800
Winning Percentage: 0.370
Fines: $0
Wild Card Bet: Week 4 – Atlanta – Lost
Recap: Neon’s “strategy” has fluctuated wildly this season – everything from conservative five-teamers to risking it all with a wild card bet on the Falcons’ swiss cheese defense. The critics aren’t sure he has the mental fortitude to outsmart his opponents down the stretch.
Grade: C-
Rick Moranis
Current Total: -$700
Winning Percentage: 0.417
Fines: $0
Wild Card Bet: Still Available
Recap: If Rick can hit his wild card bet, he’ll be right back in the mix. But that’s a big “if” for a franchise owner who bets but hasn’t watched a football game on a Sunday since October 2014.
Grade: C
The Big Hurt
Current Total: -$1,400
Winning Percentage: 0.391
Fines: $0
Wild Card Bet: Week 6 – Arizona – Won
Recap: The Big Hurt’s season in a nutshell: Week 6 – won $400; Week 7 – lost $500; Week 8 – won $500; Week 9 – lost $500.
Grade: D
Thine
Current Total: -$200
Winning Percentage: 0.603
Fines: $0
Wild Card Bet: Week 7 – Philadelphia – Lost
Recap: Thine has picked games with surgeon-like precision (60% winners), but has managed his bankroll like a broke college student ordering Pappy Van Winkle on dollar beer night.
Grade: C+
Waldo Geraldo Faldo
Current Total: -$600
Winning Percentage: 0.500
Fines: $0
Wild Card Bet: Week 7 – NY Giants – Lost
Recap: If not for a losing wild card bet, Waldo would be middle of the road for the season. The depressed performance of the rest of the league gives him a shot during the last two months.
Grade: C
West Division
Babe
Current Total: -$700
Winning Percentage: 0.405
Fines: $100
Wild Card Bet: Still Available
Recap: Babe is -$1,400 over the last four weeks and has a lot of ground to make up to challenge for the West. As one of only three franchises in the division that still has his wild card bet, he’s one of a few that could make a big move.
Grade: C
Don Mattingly
Current Total: -$300
Winning Percentage: 0.431
Fines: $0
Wild Card Bet: Still Available
Recap: I can’t believe I’m writing this, but the Donald is not out of it halfway through the season. It’s quite the opposite in fact, and with a strong November, he can push to the top of the wild card standings.
Grade: C+
Dr. Oge
Current Total: -$3,000
Winning Percentage: 0.292
Fines: $0
Wild Card Bet: Week 9 – Cleveland – Lost
Recap: Yikes.
Grade: F
Face
Current Total: -$700
Winning Percentage: 0.333
Fines: $100
Wild Card Bet: Week 2 – Cleveland – Won
Recap: Despite winning his wild card bet in Week 2, Face has plummeted down the standings. However, in the land of the blind, the man with one eye is king, and Face could be that man if he can gain some momentum in the second half.
Grade: C-
Gordon Bombay
Current Total: -$500
Winning Percentage: 0.446
Fines: $0
Wild Card Bet: Week 2 – Cleveland – Won
Recap: Gordon is -$1,600 in the last four weeks, and with his wild card bet already spent, his pedigree will only take him so far in a crowded field of playoff contenders.
Grade: C
Judge Smails
Current Total: -$1,200
Winning Percentage: 0.364
Fines: $0
Wild Card Bet: Week 2 – Cleveland – Won
Recap: Smails is another that has gone with the masses most weeks and has not reaped the benefits. He was +400 after the first three weeks, but the rest of the first half was a blur.
Grade: D+
Shecky
Current Total: -$1,200
Winning Percentage: 0.261
Fines: $0
Wild Card Bet: Week 2 – Cleveland – Won
Recap: Shecky’s season has mirrored Smails (see above). One note – he has bet the Browns 7 out of a possible 8 games. It has not worked out.
Grade: D+
The Beard of Zeus
Current Total: $900
Winning Percentage: 0.605
Fines: $0
Wild Card Bet: Still Available
Recap: The Beard has had a tiny slip the last two weeks, but a strong winning percentage has led to a big lead on the rest of the West.
Grade: A-
